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Sneaks Jokes

A Mexican man sneaks across the border to watch his favorite football team play...

...and makes it all the way to the stadium. He doesn't have tickets so he finds a large pole to climb up on and jumps down into the top of the bleachers to get a bird-eye view of the game.

After the game was over and his buddies ask him how the game was back in Mexico he replies:

"I do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that the Grim Reaper sneaks into everyone’s bedroom at night and jerks off? It’s true!

Death comes to us all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day off

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does.

The brunette gets some ext...

A guy wearing full camo sneaks into a bar

He tip-toes his way through the few customers idling about and tries to sneak behind the counter, but an invisible force violently pushes him back.

Realizing he's somehow been detected, he tries to escape from the bar only to be thwarted by another stern shove blocking his exit.

The ba...

A German sneaks into a swiss bank:

"I want to invest one million euros." he whispers.

The banker says: "You can talk aloud, poverty is no shame in Switzerland."

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

What do you call a serious man with a scythe that sneaks around outside people’s windows?

The grim peeper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adam sneaks away from Eve to talk to God privately. Adam: "God, why did you make my penis so small?"

God: "Eve has no one to compare you to, it shouldn't matter."

Adam: "Ok. And about the apple, I know you told us we couldn't eat that, but did you tell Eve she can't eat cucumbers either?"

God: "No, why do you ask?"

Adam: "Because she keeps one by the bed, but she never eats it....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young boy sneaks into his parents room while the mother was with her lover...

And hides in the closet to peek


But, the husband suddenly returns from his job


Lover jumps in the closet and meets the boy


Boy: -Its dark here

Lover: -Yeah

B: - Wanna buy my ball?

L: -No

B: - My father is right outside...

L: -How m...

What’s it called when a not important person sneaks into the VIP section of a strip club?

a NIP slip

What do we call a person who watches over kids while hiding in the shadows and sneaks in the kids room when the parents are asleep?

Santa Claus

A burglar sneaks into a house one night...

As he was looking for valuables he heard someone say "Jesus is watching you".
Shocked, he turns on his flashlight and sees a parrot. He asks the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot says "Yes". Amused, the burglar asks the parrot its name, to which the parrot replies "Moses".
The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorilla passes away at the zoo

A gorilla passed away at the zoo right before it opens for the day.
It was the only gorilla in the zoo since they weren't a very profitable creature. However, the gorilla was very popular and the zoo couldnt afford to open without it.

The zoo manager asked one of his employees to wear a ...

Man is watching TV when his wife sneaks up behind him.

She then smacks him hard on the back of the head. He turns around and says, " what was that for?"

She says " I found this piece of paper in your pocket. Who is Dolores?"

He says, " that's the name of a horse I bet on". She apologizes.

A week later she sneaks up behind him and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home late from the bar

He knows his wife don't like it when he drinks, so he sneaks his way to the bathroom so he can piss.
When he opens the bathroom door, the light automatically turns on. He finds it odd, since he didn't buy any automated lights or something like that.
He thinks that maybe his wife had installed...

Why Trojans are a terrible brand name

Trojans are a terrible name for a brand of condoms. Here's why: when you think of Trojans you think of the Trojan Horse. What's the Trojan Horse do? It sneaks past your defenses, then in the middle of the night it breaks open and a whole bunch of little dudes come spilling out of it. That's exactly ...

A librarian is at work at a pubic library and sees a chicken walk in.

The chicken walks up to the counter and says "book, book, book, book."

This continues until the librarian passes a book to the chicken who takes it and pushes it out the door.

A few minutes later the chicken comes right back on, pushes the book up to the counter and says "book, book, b...

Jesus is watching

A burglar sneaks into someone's home, and while stealing he suddenly hears a voice in the dark.

"Jesus is watching."

Not knowing where it's from, he continues stealing until once again he hears "Jesus is watching". He then notices a bird cage with a parrot inside, with a name plate tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man visits an old tavern

and sees an artist carving a beautiful pair of breasts into the veneer on the back wall. The entire upper section of the tavern has fantastic pairs of tits carved all over, and it is quite a sight to behold.

The man asks the artist, "is this all your work?"

The artist responds, "it is....

My neighbour is a clown for childrens parties. Evertime I turn my back to get ready for bed, he sneaks into my house in full costume and starts banging my wife. I can see them, in the mirror, going at it while I'm brushing my teeth.

They keep on telling me that I'll look back and laugh at it one day.

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