UPJOKE
smackkisstouchosculationosculatesnogtouchingpecksmoochcashmankrauseaingecolangelokassdombrowski

Buss Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest and a rabbi are spending a day off together at a lake..

Since they're alone, they decide to swim naked as god intended..

Just as they leave the water, two busses pull up, parking right in front of them. Members of the priest's parish pour out of the first bus, members of the rabbi's parish pour out of the other.

In shock, with nowhere to h...

A priest and a Rabbi are very good friends, so they decide to go to a remote lake for a swim.

Of course they're swimming naked as you do. All of a sudden, two busses pull up. Out of one pours the rabbis congregation and out of the other pours the priests congregation. Their clothes are on the other side of the lake so they don't have time to retrieve them, they just have to make a run for it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boobs are like busses

I see none for ages, then 2 come along at once!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buss Nun

So this guy is on the bus and he sees the hottest nun ever and he's like "damn. I need some of her in my life." So he goes up to her and being a blunt man asks is she wants to have sex. She promptly replies with "hellllll no, I'm a virgin and a nun." So now the guy is all sad and he watches the nun ...

why are the busses in London red?

You would be too if you had to come every 10 minutes

A buss full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck...

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I wish to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened.

The second person also said “I wish to be gorgeous.” and God snapped his fingers again an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big trip to the mountains with married women and their mothers-in-law was organized. They would go there by separate busses (the women in one bus and the mothers-in-law in another).

During the trip to the mountains, the bus carrying the mothers-in-law had a flat tire. Suddenly the bus driver lost control and the bus fell off the mountain, at least a couple thousand meters downhill. No chance anyone in that bus survived it. Obviously all of the women started cheering up, startin...

Yo momma so fat...

When she's tanning at the beach, Greenpeace comes with 3 busses to pull her back in the water...

Brittan decided that they will started driving on the right side of the road just like the rest of the world.

To eas people into this transition they will start with busses and trucks this week and normal cars next month.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The bus driver, the hippy, and the nun.

A bus driver, a hippy, and a nun are all on the bus as it comes to a stop. As the nun is getting off the hippy says to her “I am going to have sex with you.” The nun replies “like hell you are and leaves.” The buss driver says “do you see that grave site over there?” Hippy replays “yes.” “Well every...

I try to keep up with large vehicle emission standards

But idling busses are exhausting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John and the cab driver

One cold, winter evening John finished his office job in London Victoria and went straight to the pub. He had few drinks too many that night and decided to take a cab home, but when he looked in his wallet he only had last £20 inside. He approached a black cab outside the pub and asked how much woul...

The hedgehog

2 toothpicks are standing near a country lane, chatting with each other.
After a few minutes a hedgehog crosses the street.
Both toothpicks were very suprised: « Wow, I am amazed that there are still busses driving here! »

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Pickets to Tittsburgh

Two friends are eating lunch together.
One says, "Oh man, I've never been more embarrassed. Yesterday, I went to order two buss tickets to Pittsburgh and the ticket lady had the biggest boobs i've ever seen! I tried to say "Can i please have two tickets to Pittsburgh," but I was so nervous I acci...

A tall Mexican is riding his bike across the border when stopped by border patrol...

The officer stopped him asked him a few questions.

Officer: Are you smuggling anything into the country?

Tall Mexican: Ches.

The officer searched him and did not find any cheese. After a few more questions the tall Mexican was bussed back to Mexico.

The next week the s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A journalist in the middle east is sitting on a bench, waiting for a bus.

A journalist in the middle east is sitting on a bench, waiting for a bus. On the other end of the bench sits an old man, who is holding the reins of a camel which stands next to him. The journalist, feeling impatient, glances at his watch only to find that it has stopped working. Turning to the old ...

Prom night.

This high school kid had a crush on the girl of his dreams, but she was dating someone. However! The pair broke up a month before prom, and he decided to make the move.
He didn’t ask her out on the first week because that would be too soon. And he got sick on the second week.
Week 3 he was a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.