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Single Mother Jokes

Dating a single mother

Is like continuing from someone else’s saved game

A single mother wakes up from a coma after giving birth to twins...

She asks the doctor "Where are my babies? I want to see my babies!"

The doctor says "Not to worry, your babies are safe and at home with your brother. You had two healthy babies, one boy, and one girl, but unfortunately I do have some bad news."

Immediately thinking the worst, the moth...

A truamatizing joke for a single mother to tell their child(ren)

"You look like your father, whoever he is."

What did the struggling, single mother get for Christmas?

An eviction notice.

What do single mothers in my area find to be the biggest turn off?

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It always irked my single mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.

Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six. “I was so excited,” she told us later, “that I bought two!”

I was near the local playground, and I tried flirting with the cute single mother.

It was a swing and a Miss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am the baddest motherfucker around

I haven't fucked a single mother.

A lot of married ones.

My wife is so pious and biased that she can't see how virtuous I am when making charitable donations to help the plight of single mothers

All she sees is hookers

As a kid in the '70s, a lot of my schoolmates expressed surprise to learn I had a single mother.

I didn't know it was that common to have more than one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A single mother asked her dad what she should do because her young sons were starting to curse like sailors...

He told her the next time one of them said a bad word to smack him in the mouth and send him to his room.

The next morning at breakfast the boys came into the kitchen and the mother asked them what they would like for breakfast...

The oldest son replied... I want some fucking Cheerios...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've written a book about a young girl

who takes drugs and encounters all kinds of strange creatures talking in almost incomprehensible dialect. It ends up with her getting pregnant and becoming a single mother, living on a shitty estate and surviving off benefits.

It's called "Alice in Sunderland".

Mother of The Year

So a reporter for *The Kansas City Star* goes all the way down into rural Arkansas to do a feature on a single mother with twelve sons.

As they sit on the porch sipping lemon tea and smoking Camels, the mother hears a shout. She yells, "Harold, you leave your brother alone!"

Then as a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was young I spent my summers on my mean Auntie and Uncle's farm.

When I was 10 until I was 13, I spent my summers staying on my Auntie and Uncle's farm. My mom said it was to "build character" but really its because I was out of school and she was a single mother and had to work. Auntie and Uncle were not physically abusive but did tell me I was "trash" and all s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Johnny Had a Twin Brother

A single mother was raising a pair of terrible twins boys and was at wits ends as to what to do about their behavior, so he went to her pastor to ask for help.

"They're absolute terrors! They disobey me, they wreck the house, they don't do their homework. And worst of all, they cuss like a co...

As the saying goes, once you go black...

You become a single mother.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I often chastise my conservative grandpa for stereotyping black people..

I mean how rude it is to pick on jobless people raised by single mothers...

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