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Fleece Jokes

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas. I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids and carry a GPS navigation unit. I’m going as......

FLEECE NAVI-DAD

Where do Welsh sheep farmers take their fleece to send overseas?

OooOooo woolwarves of London

What's a shirt's favorite song?

Fleece Navidad

My 8 year old nephew told me this today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny

The third-grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:



"Mary had a little lamb,
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go."



She explained this was an example of poetry, but could be changed...

What do you call a gullible patriarchal figure from the Avatar movie?

A Fleeced Na'Vi Dad.

HELP: Trying to write a joke

I hope this doesn't go against any sub rules. I'm ok if it gets deleted.

So, I had an idea pop into my head last night, and I need some help in fleshing out the body of the joke.

It would go something like this:

A man and his son are walking near (body of water) on Christmas Day...

I just bought an Adidas Christmas sweater from Mexico.

Fleece Adidas.

A reporter interviews a sheep farmer.

They are standing next to a large meadow where lots of black and white sheep are being pastured.

"So how much grass do the sheep eat every day?" asks the reporter.

"Do you mean black or white sheep?" asks he farmer.

"Okay, let's say black."

"Oh, they eat about ten pounds ...

Did you hear about the sheep that climbed over the mountain instead of around it?

He took the path of fleece persistence.

I went into a brothel in Wales.

They charged me twenty quid entry fee and said I could choose one of the girls to spend some time with. But it turned out they had no women at all!

I got fleeced.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are teddy bear poops called?

Fleeces

What do get when you cross a sheep with a cop?

A fleece officer

What do you call a group of motivational speakers?

A fleece.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inner Peace

Heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus while staying at home we should focus on inner peace.  We all could use more calm in our lives and to achieve this we should always finish things we start. We looked through our house to find things we’d started and hadn’t finished, so finished of...

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