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Serves Jokes

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What do you call a prostitute who serves every profession?

A jack off all trades.

Who serves you when you're high and visit a restaurant in Tibet?

The Deli Llama

I am opening a bar that only serves milk stouts

I am calling it Brew Dairymore

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A lawyer serves the porn industry

He only works pro-boner.

Time to open a pub that serves nothing but expensive beers and baked beans

I'll call it Farts & Crafts.

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Did you hear about the new restaurant downtown that serves, sweetbreads, pate’ haggis and scrapple?

It’s offal.

So a naked woman walks into a bar and asks for a beer...

The bartender stares at her body from head to toe then serves her a beer. She drinks it and asks for another beer. The bartender stares at her for longer and serves her a second beer. The woman again drinks it and asks for a third beer.

Then the bartender starts to look at her with an amused ...

A horse walks into a bar...

and orders a beer.

As the bartender serves him, he looks at the horse and says "hey, why the long face, pal? Are you depressed?"

The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" - and promptly disappears.

See, this is a joke about Rene Descartes'...

Which state serves the smallest drinks?

Mini soda

There is this Vietnamese restaurant near my place that serves really good soup

It's really popular though, so one time I had to wait a whole hour just to go in, and by the time it was my turn, they ran out of soup. It was a really huge pho-queue.

I wanted to open a new Strip Club that serves seafood.

Calling it Bass To Mouth

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender rema...

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A gorilla walks into a bar in Manhattan

The bartender gives the gorilla a craft beer menu (without the fucking QR codes). The gorilla points at a particular summer ale, with hints of lemon. The bartender nods, and tells him what a great choice that is.

A few minutes later, the bartender serves the gorilla this tasty craft brew, an...

What do you call a dog who serves icecream?

Scoopy-Doo

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What do you call a sex toy that also serves as a hole-maker?

A drilldo

I opened an egg restaurant that only serves the best eggs.

It's getting a lot of 1 star reviews despite us barely getting any customers though so if you're in the Bay area, checkout "Whites only" and help us out!

I should open a bar that serves only shots and sipping whiskies, and is called...

Drinking, Fast and Slow

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A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer

"That'll be five dollars", says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters onto the floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and serves the beer.

The next day, the guy comes into the bar, asks for a beer, throws 20 quarters onto the floor, etc.

The next day, again.
...

What do you give an abusive pasta chef who always serves wet noodles?

A re-straining order.

What do you call a strip club that serves spaghetti and meatballs?

Titaly

I wanna open a restaurant for girlfriends that only serves 2 things

"I don't care" and "just not that"

I recently visited a restaurant that only serves internal organs.

It was offal

We tried that new fusion restaurant that only serves intestines and organ meat.

It was offal.

I work in a restaurant that only serves cannibals.

I'm head chef.

What do you call a kitchen that serves only kosher food?

A judiciary.

What kind of food truck serves hamburgers?

A patty wagon

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A black piece of asphalt walks into a bar

A black piece of asphalt walks into a bar and slams his fist down on the bar loudly proclaiming, "I demand a free drink because I'm the toughest motherfucker in here!" The barman, not wanting any trouble, hands the piece of asphalt a beer.

About 20 minutes pass when another piece of asphalt w...

Did you know that an helicopters propeller serves to keep the pilot cool?

Because when it stops the pilot starts sweating.

A panda walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Would you like anything to drink?"

The panda replies, "No thanks, I'm only here to eat."

"So what would you like to eat?"

"I'll just take the fries."

The bartender serves the panda, who enjoys the meal. He asks, "Now, will your payment be cash or card...

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A mother serves a creamy yellow soup to her son and his girlfriend at the dinner tablr

Everyone begins consuming it immediately. The girlfriend, an aspiring theater actress, says to her boyfriend’s mother, “This soup is absolutely delicious! What’s the secret ingredient?”

“Piss,” replied his mother.

Everyone promptly spits out their soup.

“Excuse me?” asks his ...

If Memory serves me right this time...

I'll have an extra side of mashed potatoes!

I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time

So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

Did you hear about the Mexican restaurant that only serves Indian food?

Turns out the chef is a naan-conformist!

Who serves all you can eat rabbit stew?

Warren Buffet!

2 ladies are walking their dogs. One has a big black lab, the other has a chihuahua. They pass a bar and the lab owner says “Let’s get a beer.”

The chihuahua walker complains, “We can’t take our dogs in there.”

The first responds, “Watch me.”

The lab owner strolls in with her dog and orders a beer.

The bartender tells her, "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here."

“He's my seeing eye dog," the woman replies f...

A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey

When the barman serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it.

As he's enjoying his drink, a nun walks by, and glares at him sourly. "How can you pollute your soul with the Devil's drink like that?" she asks.

The man shrugs. "It's not the Devil, it's just w...

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