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The principal at our school once gave detention to a student for illegally downloading Justin Bieber songs online for free.

Even worse, he expelled another student who actually *paid* for his album.

I got detention once

because my teacher said "we're watching a documentary on drugs" and I said "cool, and what's the documentary about?"

My math teacher gave me a detention

It just didn’t add up

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If porn has taught me one thing:

detention is not a punishment.

What happens when you lose you attention span in school

You gain your detention span

I got in trouble in Algebra class today and had to stay after class for detention.

I didn't enjoy the aftermath.

I was fired for sending one of my students to detention "for being tardy".

Special education just wasn't for me.

Today I gave a student detention for being tardy

I was then fired from my job as a special ed. teacher

Why was the blacksmiths son sent to detention?

He was caught forging signatures.

I had a detention for only using uppercase letters today

Stupid capital punishment

Detention

I got in detention for not having my ID with me,

I wonder how i'm gonna get in then?

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Why was the clock sent to detention?

It ticked-off the teacher by tock-ing in class.

My teacher put me in detention because I was talking about drugs.

For about an hour she made me do lines.

There were three unruly kids in detention

Their names were Zip, Willie and Pee. The teacher briefly left the room and the three kids saw this as an opportunity to have some fun. Zip jumped up onto a table and started dancing. Willie went into the teachers cupboard and Pee started running around.

The teacher shortly came back, saw th...

A kid and Afraid Not walk into a school and sit down...

While the teacher is trying to teach, the first kid starts being disruptive.

The teacher says, "Keep that up and you'll be going to detention."
"What about him?" the kid says, pointing at the other kid. "He's bad, too!"
"No." the other kid says. "I'm afraid not."

(Thanks to m...

BREAKING NEWS: Ghislaine Maxwell, former on again / off again partner of Epstein, has been arrested by the FBI.

In other news, Prince Andrew has just suffered a heart attack, Bill Clinton has suddenly developed Alzheimer’s, and all prison guards at Maxwell’s detention centre have suddenly had to take long naps...

Why i got a detention?? feeling confused :/

Me: Mum i got a detention today
Mum: Why!
Me: Well the teacher pointed the ruler at me and said "at the end of this ruler is a idiot".
Mum: Yeah so
Me: I asked what end.

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There is a new teacher of foreign language in Pepes class

The teacher writes sentences in foreign language on blackboard. Then she calls up the students one by one and asks them for translation until its Pepes turn. Before he can respond they can hear loud knocking.

It is a headmaster. As the teacher is new to her job and freshly graduated the head...

Little johnny is in school one day...

Mrs teacher: Class hand in your homework.

Little johnny: *Can't find homework in his bag*

Mrs teacher: Detention for you little johnny!

Little johnny: Impossible!!!

Got in trouble at school for this joke

So I'm in class and were doing civil rights and the teacher says to the class "so who can't walk freely in some community's" and i say back "handicap people".......Got a week of detention.

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A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike...

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A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"That's easy, I want to be an asshole!" yells Little Johnny.

The Teacher is shocked with Little Johnny's response and wants to send him to detention, but out of curiosity she let's him continue hoping for an explanation.

Little Johnny continues: -Well, when I'm out on the street with ...

I was making chicken noises in class

Got a detention for using fowl language

How many deputies did it take to push the inmate down the stairs?

None, he fell.

I work as a Detention Deputy, and that's one of my favorite jokes to tell the inmates.

An American soldier was captured by the Germans during WWII...

An American soldier was captured by the Germans during WWII. He was placed into a detention cell and soon a neatly uniformed SS officer comes to interrogate him.

“Vhere is your unit based?” asks the officer in accented English. But the soldier looks him dead in the eyes and says only “Tick t...

My stepson

A couple of years ago I was in a relationship with a girl with a son. She had had this kid with a previous partner. Now this partner was a really abusive guy, he used to beat her up, both emotionally and physically. He sent her to hospital on a couple of occasions, and on the most brutal of his rage...

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Tom, Harry and Dick go to the principal's office..

Tom, Harry and Dick were misbehaving when they were playing outside in school so the teacher sends them to the principal's office.
Tom was the first to be called in to the office. The principal asks him "Why were you sent to my office?".
He replies with "I was being bad when I was playing in...

Ice, Ice baby!

In the 90s it was a corny rap song
Now it's 3 people at a detention center

Why does Trump want to buy Greenland?

Because he wants to build an ICE detention center.


...I will see myself out.

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Little Billy forgot to do his science homework on insects...

And his teacher was furious. "Right.", she said. "If you don't bring in a sheet filled with facts about insects by tomorrow, it's detention for you!"

The next day, Little Billy arrives at his classroom early and tells the teacher that he didn't do his homework, but he has an amazing fact ...

My classroom teacher made me stand up in front of the class for being a nuisance during the lesson.

She held her pointer stick towards me and said,

"At the end of this stick, there is an idiot!"

I got detention after asking which end.

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Teacher says to the class

Teacher: ok the next person to answer my question gets to go home early.
A kid throws his back pack out the window
Teacher: jimmy you reposting piece of shit. Get your ass to detention.

An elderly woman appears in court for stealing

A can of peaches from the grocery store. The judge asks "how many peaches were in that can?" To which she replied "about 6 your honor."

"Very well then. 6 days in detention for you. I hope you've learned your lesson." When you suddenly hear her grumpy husband in the crowd "she also stole ...

Oscar Pistorius gets six years jail.

Jail, then home detention, and back to jail. Wow, for someone with no legs he's covering a lot of ground.

Two special needs kids..

one has a humpback and the other has a gimpy leg. One day at school they get in trouble and have to stay for detention. It's getting pretty late so the kid with the humpback says "I'm gonna cut through the cemetery to get home quicker."
The kid with the gimpy leg was too scared so he went the lo...

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