So the Pope goes down into a deep vault below the Vatican, where they keep the most ancient sacred texts.

Scholarly Priests spend decades examining these handwritten scrolls for translation errors. The Pope finds one of them hard at work and asks if he has found anything.


"Why yes, your Excellency. Look here, where we have always thought it said 'smite', but there's an 'R' there, it clea...

If you're looking for new Elder Scrolls Online DLC

Look Elsweyr

I'm sorry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

A teen goes to a party one day.

He dances for a bit, then he decides to get some punch but sees the line is long so he goes back to dancing. He enters the line but sees the line is still long. So, he dances some more, grabs some food, and scrolls through social media. Eventually he enters the line again. Finally he says: "This pun...

How does an old man zoom in in Skyrim?

The elder scrolls

Elder Scrolls Joke

Yo momma's so fat the dark brotherhood needs two contracts to get her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman went to a synagogue in Poland after the Holocaust to record the history that was nearly lost forever, where she found an unusual tradition she had never seen before.

At the synagogue, when they carried the Torah\*, they would bring it around to everyone who wanted to touch the Torah, which was normal. But when they brought the Torah down the center aisle, the carrier would get down on their knees and knee-walk all the way!

The woman had never heard of thi...

What flavor of chips do the citizens in the Elder Scrolls like the most?

Cyrodiill Pickle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redditor walks in to bar...

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"

"It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."

"That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender.

"I should warn you", the redditor says, "I b...

What do call a Senior Citizen when they use a Computer?

Elder Scrolls

The Wong Brothers

In ancient China lived the Wong brothers, three wise men who studied the arts of magic. Wong Wan could create beautiful tapestries with the tiniest bit of thread, and Wong Tsu could miraculously make crops grow in barren soil. Wong Lee, however, was much more sinister than his brothers. His magic co...

What's it called when one of your parents is browsing on their phone?

The Elder Scrolls

If an old person looks through their Facebook timeline

You could say that the Elder Scrolls

A young monk arrives for work at a monastery

A young monk arrives for work at a monastery where scrolls are copied from prior scrolls by hand. After some time he noticed that they are copying from copies. Humbly he points out to the master monk that an error could be introduced and then copied and recopied via this process.



The...

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