Scrambled Egg Jokes - 33 Hilarious Scrambled Egg Jokes

Would you like scrambled eggs?

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What is white, loud, and ruins your scrambled egg?

An avalanche.

Children are like scrambled eggs.

They are only good when properly beaten.

Drinking Jack Daniel's while beating scrambled eggs...

It's a bit whiskey

I decided to have scrambled eggs this morning...

Immediately after thinking "I'll just flip this omelette."

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How to make scrambled eggs

Step 1: Find omelette recipe

Step 2: Follow omelette recipe until folding step

Step 3: Try to fold the omelette in the pan

Step 4: Fuck it up because how the fuck do you even do that

Step 5: Enjoy scrambled eggs

I have been a vegan for my whole life, but after my friends kept urging me to eat scrambled eggs, i finally did.

Tbh it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

My vegetarian wife wanted the egg smell gone from the pan in which I cooked scrambled egg

So i cooked beef in it.

I've never made scrambled eggs before

but I thought I'd wisk it.

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Children wake up in the morning to find a strange man in their kitchen making some scrambled eggs...

They ask him: "Are you our new baby sitter?"

The guy replies: "No, I'm your new mother fucker."

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Just been reading Delia Smith's recipe for scrambled eggs...

Apparently "they should be soft and fluffy." No you daft bitch that means they've hatched.

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

A man sat down in a restaurant and the waiter came over to the table.

The man says, "I'd like tomato juice, scrambled eggs with spinach, and some cherry pie."

"But you haven't looked at the menu yet," said the waiter.

"No, but I've looked at the tablecloth," replies the man.

My step sis asked me to bring her something hard to write on...

Idk why she's so mad, it's really hard to write on scrambled eggs.

Old farmer Joe is checking on his chickens

He notices that one of his chickens, Betty, is producing more eggs than any other chicken on the farm. What’s even more interesting is that they all look identical: same little freckle on the top, same patterns, even exactly the same colour! “This really is unusual,” he exclaims, and decides to inve...

Teacher: You should wash your face in the morning

"I can tell what you had for breakfast. You ate scrambled eggs"

Student; "Haha, you're wrong, sir. I ate eggs yesterday".

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My friend is into necrophilia, pedophilia and beastiality.

It’s not as bad as it sounds, he just fucks scrambled eggs.

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A Four-year-old boy and his dad sit at the kitchen table.

It's Sunday morning and mom just made breakfast. On the table is french toast covered in butter and doused with their favorite maple syrup. There are four slices of bacon on each plate and an overwhelming amount of scrambled eggs. A tall glass of orange juice demands their attention. The boy and his...

What do you call this?

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Scrambled eggs.

What do Vegans and Pro-Lifers have in common? [NSFW]

They both hate scrambled eggs

A vacuum salesman knocked on a newly built home

A lady opened the door. The salesman rushed into the home and threw rotten scrambled eggs, fries and hot dogs on the carpet floor. Before the lady said anything, the salesman said "Mam, the vacuum i have is the best in business. I'll vacuum every single thing and also ensure there is no odor. If i f...

I'm starting a new abortion clinic and naming it...

Scrambled Eggs.

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What is a tampon's favorite food?

Scrambled egg

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What does a guy with a big dick eat for breakfast?

Well, this morning I had scrambled eggs, hash browns, a side of bacon, a glass of milk...

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A man enters a restaurant in a foreign country...

...he doesn't speak the language, but he tries to order breakfast anyway. He makes a slicing motion, then moves his finger like he is spreading butter on a slice of toast. The server understands this and notes it down.

He then clucks like a chicken and pretends to crack and beat an egg. The s...

Memory loss (Long)

A man and his wife are growing older, and the doctor tells them their memory isn't that great. He tells them they should start writing things down to remember better. At home, the wife asks for a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. She tells her husband to write it down, to which he responds that ...

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Whenever a bird shits on my car

I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on front of my porch just to let them know what I am capable of

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A cowboy gets into a brothel

He goes to the owner, hands her $10000 and asks her:

"I want the ugliest, nastiest girl you have here. I also want scrambled eggs."

The owner is baffled at such a weird requests, and tries to argue:

"For this much money, you can have the triplets who were bikini models for the ...

An old couple had trouble remembering anything

An old couple, Agnes and Fred, had trouble remembering anything.

During a checkup, the doctor tells the couple they are okay physically but should repeat everything to one another to help them remember things.

One night, Fred offered to make a bowl of ice cream for Agnes while they wer...

Walter and Agnes have been married for 50 years.

They’ve had a beautiful life together, but as they’ve gotten older, they’ve become more forgetful. Walter even went to play a round of golf the other day and forgot his clubs!

Agnes decided it was time to go to the doctor and see if anything could be done about their memory problems. The doct...

Youth Slang

Kids are always coming up with the strangest slang. Remember "on fleek" or when "dank" stopped meaning dingy?

I was working as a counselor at a summer camp one year. The kids came up with a new one and proceeded to absolutely run it into the ground. One day in the cafeteria, one of the ner...

Memory Problems

An old husband and his wife were sitting in a doctor’s office to get help for their failing memory. “Maybe you should each do something special for for the other and then talk about it. That way, it will help cement it better in your minds.” The old couple thanked the doctor and went home.

Wh...

Old couple goes to the doctor's about memory problems.

They say, "We always seem to forget even the most mundane things. It's really starting to interfere with our lives."
The Doctor says, "I know this sounds obvious, but why not try writing things down on a little piece of paper so you remember them?"

They try this for a week and it works per...

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