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I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today.

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower.


Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

Why are scented candles so expensive?

Because they take a wick to make one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took a dump and then sprayed lemon-scented air freshener after

Now it smells like shit-rus

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I bought Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-scented candle....

but I must have lit it from the wrong end because this thing smells like shit.

I can't believe my unscented deodorant really smells like nothing.

That's nonsense!

What's the deal with scented candles?

If they work, they stink. If they don't work, they still stink.

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My balls are just like scented stickers

All i do is scratch and sniff

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I came home from work to find my wife had arranged a romantic night-in.

She stood there, dressed in a see-through polyester negligee, "You're in for a night of hot passionate sex," she said.
Dousing herself in perfume, she lit a host of scented candles.

I stayed for half an hour at the burns unit, but then thought, "Fuck it" and went home for a wank.

What do you do to backwards scented muffins?

sniffum

I found a "Fresh Baked Bread" scented candle

I bought it because I love the smell of fresh bread. But when I lit it, it smelled like toast.

A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.

It smells like teen spirit.

I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day..

..it smells better than real poo.

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Young naive couple

A young naïve newlywed couple from rural China decided to move to America to start a new life with nothing but big dreams and the love for each other. They arrived at their new home in rural Minnesota, and although they were happy and still in love, the first couple of months were difficult. They ...

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A lot of people say “Put your money where your mouth is”.

What if I want to put my mouth where my money is; between strawberry scented stripper tits.

The yoga teacher stretches her legs to the ceiling and suddenly farts

A student asks: "what position is that supposed to be?"
The teacher answers: "scented candle"

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So there’s this lady, shopping in a grocery store.

She walks over to the produce section and picks out a nice sized cumber, some large carrots, and a decently sized eggplant. As she continues shopping, she picks up a Barry Manilow cd from the $5 discount bin and a few pumpkin spice scented candles. As she heads to the register she grabs her last ite...

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