UPJOKE
smellperfumeodorodourfragrancearomaincenseodorizeolfactometerolfactionnosesenseodorlessmuskbouquet

Scented Jokes

They made a Hindenburg-scented perfume

It's called Eau De Humanitie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was offered sex with a 21 yr old today

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

Why are scented candles so expensive?

Because they take a wick to make one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk man was at the checkout waiting to buy more beer when...

..a young women behind him began placing her items down. She had a bottle of wine, ice cream, scented candles, a magazine, and some tampons. She notices the drunk man watching her and decides to add condoms to her pile from off the rack. The man looks the at the items, then back at her and drunkenly...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-scented candle....

but I must have lit it from the wrong end because this thing smells like shit.

What's the deal with scented candles?

If they work, they stink. If they don't work, they still stink.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just sprayed some orange scented air freshener in the bathroom.

Now it smells like shitrus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My balls are just like scented stickers

All i do is scratch and sniff

I found a "Fresh Baked Bread" scented candle

I bought it because I love the smell of fresh bread. But when I lit it, it smelled like toast.

A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.

It smells like teen spirit.

I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day..

..it smells better than real poo.

What's That Funny Smell?

Clown scented incense.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came home from work to find my wife had arranged a romantic night-in.

She stood there, dressed in a see-through polyester negligee, "You're in for a night of hot passionate sex," she said.
Dousing herself in perfume, she lit a host of scented candles.

I stayed for half an hour at the burns unit, but then thought, "Fuck it" and went home for a wank.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lot of people say “Put your money where your mouth is”.

What if I want to put my mouth where my money is; between strawberry scented stripper tits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young, single woman is feeling lonely

and decides to take matters into her own hands. To shy to buy a sex toy, she heads to the grocery store and picks out some scented candles, a bottle of wine, some personal lubricant and a large cucumber. She takes her items up to the till and the cashier says:

"You're single, hey?"

She...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man on the verge of pooping into his pants rushes into a busy mini beach market

The only cashier in the small canopy-style store joyfully asks him:

\- Good afternoon sir, how can I help you?

\- I need some toilet paper please.

\- Ah, no worries, we have all kinds of toilet paper. Would you like 1-ply or 2-ply?

\- Uh... 2-ply.

\- Okay! Would yo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.