UPJOKE

Smells Like Jokes

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s Fingers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend's vagina smells like roses....

But, Rose's is tighter...

What does a new Tesla car smells like?

Elon Musk

I've created a manly fragrance that smells like chicken nuggets.

I call it Pollo For Men.

People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

What’s sweaty has really tidy nails and smells like bacon

Miss piggy’s puppeteer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Rabbit Farts..

My 7 yr. old neice told me this the other day, and I bout lost my shit..lolol

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What's 30' long and smells like piss?

>!The line dance at the senior home!<

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I tried one of Gwenyth Paltrow's "This Smells Like My Vagina" candles.

Honestly, it just smells like Apple.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My penis may not be 12 inches

....but it smells like a foot.

What's quiet but smells like worms?

Bird farts.

My unscented deodorant really smells like nothing.

That's nonsense!

If your urine smells like alcohol, you may have a drinking problem

If your urine tastes like alcohol, you definitely do have a drinking problem

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

Courtesy of my kid when she was seven: what’s invisible and smells like bananas?

Monkey farts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Something smells like shit, was that Bob?

I don’t know, Axe him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you’re fat when your piss smells like gravy.

You know you’re really fat when it tastes like gravy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know what a 70 year Olds ass smells like?

Depends

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, and taste like shit...

You have gone too far to identify!

On the last day of Barack's presidency, he and Donald Trump go to the same barbershop to get their hair done.

On the last day of Barack's presidency, he and Donald Trump go to the same barbershop to get their hair done.

Barbers decide not to talk about politics, and everybody ends up not talking at all. The air is so tense. it could be almost cut with the barber's knife.

Donald's hair gets fi...

So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop...

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald wa...

A man wakes up hungover, with no memory of coming home.

He realizes he's fully clothed in bed. He sees one of the lamps on a bedside table is broken, and he smells like he was sick on himself. He sits up and sees muddy tracks leading to his bed.

The man groans and holds his head, knowing he's going to be in big trouble with his wife. She then e...

A Russian cop wants to get a breathalyzer.

A Russian cop wants to get a breathalyzer like the Western cops have to deal with drunk drivers. He asks his superior for one and his superior says "Sorry comrade. We have no money."

The cop decides to go to a local black market where he buys a condom.

He stops the first driver and sa...

Ancient Egyptian king smells like

Pharohmones

What's pink inside and smells like fish?

Salmon

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