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Scented Candle Jokes

Why are scented candles so expensive?

Because they take a wick to make one.

Everyone talks about how wonderful scented candles are...

But I know they're wicked.

What's the deal with scented candles?

If they work, they stink. If they don't work, they still stink.

A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.

It smells like teen spirit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk man was at the checkout waiting to buy more beer when...

..a young women behind him began placing her items down. She had a bottle of wine, ice cream, scented candles, a magazine, and some tampons. She notices the drunk man watching her and decides to add condoms to her pile from off the rack. The man looks the at the items, then back at her and drunkenly...

I found a "Fresh Baked Bread" scented candle

I bought it because I love the smell of fresh bread. But when I lit it, it smelled like toast.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came home from work to find my wife had arranged a romantic night-in.

She stood there, dressed in a see-through polyester negligee, "You're in for a night of hot passionate sex," she said.
Dousing herself in perfume, she lit a host of scented candles.

I stayed for half an hour at the burns unit, but then thought, "Fuck it" and went home for a wank.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young, single woman is feeling lonely

and decides to take matters into her own hands. To shy to buy a sex toy, she heads to the grocery store and picks out some scented candles, a bottle of wine, some personal lubricant and a large cucumber. She takes her items up to the till and the cashier says:

"You're single, hey?"

She...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there’s this lady, shopping in a grocery store.

She walks over to the produce section and picks out a nice sized cumber, some large carrots, and a decently sized eggplant. As she continues shopping, she picks up a Barry Manilow cd from the $5 discount bin and a few pumpkin spice scented candles. As she heads to the register she grabs her last ite...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife decide that each can give the other one 3 rules they have to follow.

The wife starts. ´First of all, I want to watch a movie togheter once every week. And I get to decide which one´ Her husband says: ´Of course I agree honey.´ The wife continues: ´Second of all, I want the house to smell nice. You need to make sure there are always 3 scented candles on.´ Her husband ...

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