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Scat Jokes

I saw a posting for a local scat group and decided to check them out

It was clear the moment I walked in the door I had made a mistake, but never being one against new experiences I pulled out a stool and joined them

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What do you call scat porn with poor production quality

A shit show

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i really really hate scat porn

fuck that shit man

I joined a local scat group on Facebook recently who said they were having a meet up

Once I showed up and saw what they were doing to each other, I realized my mistake and skiddy-be-bop-a-do’d out of there as fast as I could.

What do you call South American ladies that are into scat?

Latrinas

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Why can’t you invite scat fetishists out?

They have shit to do.

I have a scat fetish but...

But that just means I get hard when I hear unintelligible jazz singing

Last night I let my boyfriend indulge his "scat" fantasy...

<sigh>

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

what do you call a bear with a scat fetish?

Winning the Poo

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Did you hear about the guy with a scat fetish but pretended it was funny?

He was all for shits and no giggles.

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Therapist: So you're saying you finally broke up with your girlfriend who had a scat fetish?

Yes doctor, and I have to say I'm just glad to get all that shit off my chest.

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Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

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I found out yesterday I had a scat fetish...

Had no idea I was into kinky shit.

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I saw a recent study said that scat fetishists are cynical and negative.

It said they're always shitting on people.

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A drunk walks into a bar...

A drunk walks into a bar carrying a shoebox and says "Hey bartender, if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free drink?"

Bartender shrugs, and says "Well, it'd have to be something pretty amazing. Let's have it."

Guy pulls a rat and a tiny piano out of the shoebox and se...

Did you hear about the guy who escaped being a toilet slave?

He got away scat-free.

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A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says,

"If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?"

The barkeeper says, "Depends on how good of a trick it is."

The drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a chipmunk and places him behind the piano. The chipmunk starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard...

Why was the saxophonist charged with public indecency?

He wouldn’t stop scatting at the club.

Bear PSA

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers and campers in National Parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.

They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming f...

TIL that Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered from a debilitating bowel condition that would often result in him soiling himself unexpectedly.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he had had an accident, and lived in a perpetual state of both being soiled and unsoiled simultaneously.

This became known as Schrodinger's Scat.

You know what mozarts favorite type of music is?

Scat

A man goes to an open mic at the local jazz club

He gets on stage and starts scatting.

He's promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Poop jokes!

Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It never came out.

Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early. (Yep, that one is OC, don't know if I should be proud of that but I am)

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't ...

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Do you guys think it's important that you and your spouse enjoy the same fetishes?

I'm really into scat, but my wife keeps telling me she doesn't give a shit.

Being in the recreation and natural resources field, I enjoy this every time I hear it

Due to the recent increase of encounters with grizzly and black bears in the area, all hikers should wear bells so you don't sneak up and startle nearby bears. Hikers should also carry pepper spray encase of an encounter. The two bears have different characteristics to their droppings and you can te...

A Czechoslovakian and Soviet were hunting in the woods

It had been sometime since they were last seen and people were starting to worry about them. A week had passed and a search party was deployed.

The search wasn’t going well until one tracker found some bear scat with a handkerchief that was thought to belong to the Soviet hunter.

A f...

What do you call someone who steals bags from people at a dog park?

A scat burgler.

There's a protocol when it comes to bears [Long]

If you go camping, you should carry bells so not to startle a bear and be attacked, and pepper spray in case it does.

It would help to learn the scat of the bear, so you can avoid areas with dangerous species.

Brown and black bear's is small and dark.

Grizzly's is large, light i...

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An Interview with Scatman John

In 1998 an interview was conducted with Scatmam John who in turn passed the following year. During the interview, Charlie Rose brought up John’s 1995 hit single ‘Scatman (Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop)’ and asked him: “Are you aware that the term ‘scat’ is a term used for sexual practices involving fecal ma...

After spending so much time using his phone on the toilet...

Erwin forgot whether or not he had actually relieved himself yet. Loosely gripping the paper, he wipes in search of evidence. The results come back negative. He thinks to himself, "perhaps it was just cleaner than the others". If he looks down now, will he find the log floating in the porcelain lake...

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I recently sailed around the world on one of those “once in a lifetime” cruises.

The cruise was scheduled to take 6 months, visit all 7 continents, and make port calls in over 30 different cities. I was very excited and could not wait.

The cruise began with several uneventful stops along the gulf off Mexico and down the Eastern side of South America. As we neared the sout...

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