Run Away Jokes - 30 Hilarious Run Away Jokes

Why did the moo run away?

Because it’s a cow word

My girlfriend said to me: "If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."

Turns out she meant together.

What did the melon say to her fiancé when he asked her to run away with him?

I cantaloupe.

How do you make samurai run away?

Sho gun

Did you hear about the tree that tried to run away from home?

He's not out of the woods yet.

A man decides to quit his job and run away to join a pirate crew

A man decides to quit his job and run away to join a pirate crew. After spending a few hours at the dock, he sees a man who has a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch; the man is obviously a pirate captain. The man promptly joins the captains crew and they ship out to sea that very day.
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Why did Rudolph run away from Santa, get a tattoo and dye his tail purple?

He was a rebel without a Claus

Him: honey, dew you want to run away and get married?

Me: what? no, we cantaloupe.

Why couldn't the boy run away with the farmer's daughter?

They were cantaloupe farmers.

A man is working out with a blonde nearby

He gets hot while doing his sets so he takes off his shirt. The blonde winks and says "Wow, you've got some nice pecs there."

The man smirks and says "100 pounds of pure dynamite, babe." and returns to his workout. A few minutes go by and he gets hotter so he takes off his pants.

The b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whenever I see a man wearing a skirt, I run away.

It’s not that I’m homophobic, I’m just afraid he’ll start to play the bagpipes.

Why did the Tiger run away from the lion?

The lion invaded the golf-course.

A lost dog wanders through the jungle. In the distance a lion sees him and whispers: "I'm going to eat him, I have never seen anything like that before."

The lion then began to approach the dog in a threatening manner. When the dog realized this, he panicked, but as he tried to run away, he saw a bone nearby, and he got the idea to speak out loud. "Lion meat is delicious!"

The lion suddenly stopped and said: "Wow, this guy is stronger than he...

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would, too, if your name was hrhrnwodjbrke.

A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him.

The muscular friend says, "Here's what you do: next time there's a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You'll see - that'll turn you into a chick magnet."

A minute later, all the girls at the party run away from the scrawny kid, screaming and laughing and po...

Why did the T-Rex run away from the bathroom?

Because extinct

I once knew a rancher who was always afraid that his cows will run away

What a cowherd

How do you stop a run away train?

Give it more attention.

The best advice I ever got from my dad was to never run away from my problems...

To this day, I still have that postcard...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun was chatting with Mother Superior.

"I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder nun.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line t...

Before I Injured my leg girls used to run away from me

Now they just walk

I told my neighbour that I was scared our dog would run away.

He said, "Have you thought about fencing?"

"No," I said, "I don't even own a sword."

Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman?

He had allure.

10 engineering professors board a plane

Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of them stays sit, calmly reading a book.

One of...

A man falls in love with a nun and they run away together...

The church says it doesn’t mind, as long as he doesn’t get into the habit.

You know the kids that'd knock on doors and run away....?

...they now deliver stuff for UPS

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stripper's dating ad

A stripper got desperate and tired of the men she was with always turning out to be assholes. She puts an ad on a dating say simply saying "I want a man who will never beat me, never run away from me, and is good in bed" after dating a few more assholes the doorbell rings one day. She opens the door...

A Calculus joke

Verbatim from what my professor just showed in one of my engineering classes:

e^x and a constant are walking down the street together when the constant sees a differential operator coming their way. He starts to run away, and e^x asks "Why are you running away?" The constant answers, "That's...

Two melons meet at the market and fall in love. One says to the other, "Let's run away together and get married!" The other replies:

"I cantaloupe, but honeydew I want to!"

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