UPJOKE
scarerbirdstrawmancrowthe scarecrowmannequinsparrowstraw manbunnywitchfeathertoplanternworzel gummidgedoctor synfarmer

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I Saw a Scarecrow Trying To Have a Wank

Turns out he was just clutching at straws.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I was the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz, I know what I’d be singing

Oh, I’d while away the hours
Wanking in the flowers
My heart all full of song

I’d be guilding every lily
As I waved about my Willy
If I only had a schlong

What did the scarecrow preacher say to his congregation

Can I get a hay men
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What is a scarecrow's favorite kind of joke?

A corny one.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s a scarecrows favorite type of porn?

Hard corn

Why is it impossible to fight a scarecrow?

By the time it reaches its last straw, there's nothing left.
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What's a scarecrows favourite fruit?

A straw-berry.
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What is a scarecrows vehicle of choice?

An Autumn mobile
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i saw a female scarecrow

And I said hay girl
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Why did the Scarecrow receive a pay raise?

Because he is an upstanding man in his field.
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was outstanding in his field!

(got this joke from Tiny Tower if you guys know what that is)
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Why did the scarecrow get a nobel prize?

Because he was out-standing in his field.

Apologies if this has been posted, it’s new to me.
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What did the scarecrow say before committing suicide?

"That’s the last straw!"

*^I'm ^sorry.*

[UsagiMimi](http://www.reddit.com/user/UsagiMimi/) helped me refine the wording.
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Why was the female scarecrow unhappy with her husband?

She was not satisfied with the results of his straw pole.
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I knew the best scarecrower impersonater ever...

He was out-standing in his field
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Do scarecrows really work?

No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either.
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What did the disco goose say to the abrasive scarecrow?

You're scaring me, let me dance the night away.
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