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Sawn Jokes

My wife left me after I've had front parts of my feet sawn off.

Turns out she's lack toes intolerant.

When Sean Connery first learned to talk..

he would pronounce his name like "Sawn."

His mother explained, "no dear, the S makes a "SH" sound.

And the resht is hishtory.

An Irishman wants to rob a London bank...

An Irishman wants to rob a major London bank, but he is worried that his thick Irish accent will give him away. He decides to go to a language class to learn how to speak Proper English like a real Englishman.

After months of practise, he strolls into the bank with a sawn-off shotgun, and in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man holds up a bank

A man walks into a sperm bank with a balaclava and a sawn off shotgun. He walks up to the receptionist, points the shotgun at her and says "I want all of the days takings, right now!!"

She replies "Sir, you're holding up the wrong kind of bank. All we have here is sperm."

He waves the ...

Those Jihad magicians really need to learn new tricks...

I'm tired of watching reporters get sawn in half.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old farmer and his dear friend went to the market.

The market was full of various stalls stocked with agricultural goods & wares. Whilst browsing the plentiful market the old farmer couldn’t help but notice a busty blonde lady and he stared at her longingly.

“Corrr!” Whispered the old farmer to his pal. “I’ll pay a pretty penny to get me...

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