To all my Redditor friends observing the holy month of Ramadan...
...Lunch is on me.
Seeing that Ramadan started this week, here's a joke.
There were two white christian men, Adam and Jack, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they sudde...
Why couldn't the police catch Muslims during Ramadan?
They were going to fast.
I’m done with Ramadan!
Other muslims are still fasting, but I was faster.
As a single guy, I always look forward to Ramadan.
This month, I have a date every night.
What did Sonic the Hedgehog say during Ramadan?
Got to go fast!
Happy Ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters!
This month, lunch is on me.
Now I have a religious reason to be broke and starving
It is ramadan...
...now i have religious reasons to be broke and starving.
Note: reposting this as a mark of respect for all those who are practicing it.
it's the month of Ramadan right now ...
and I'm having at least two dates every night
Putting the SLIM back into Muslim
ABBA songs Ramadan edition
Gimme gimme gimme a naan after midnight
It’s No Nut November’s Muslim cousin time
Refrain Rub Ramadan
Bob and Steve, happened to be lost in Arabian desert.
Bob and Steve, happened to be lost in Arabian desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.
Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is Mohammad, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"
What do you call the end of Ramadan?
Two Americans were walking in the Arabian desert one morning, when they come across a mosque.
They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.
"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some food and something to drink. You'll be Hassan, and I'll be Muhammed", said Roger.
"No way, man. ...
Two individuals decide to spend Ramadan together...
They were fast friends!
Ramadan is starting again this year
It really puts the slim in Muslim
Why do Muslim couples always break up before Ramadan?
Because they're going to fast.
What do you call the celebration that comes the day after Ramadan?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I respect those participating in Ramadan. No way could I go thirty days without sex.
Unless my girlfriend is home.
Giorno and Gyro are lost in Morocco
Old Muslim joke.
Giorno and Gyro are lost in Morocco, they are hungry, they haven't eaten anything for 1 day.
Gyro sees a mosque :
- Gyro : hey it’s a mosque maybe we can ask for food. - Giorno : we aren’t Muslims they probably won’t give us any food. - Gyro : we can c...
Two Englishmen crash in the desert...
They begin to trek through the sands trying to find help. After a day and night of walking the two men are dying from thirst and so incredibly hungry when they spot 3 camels crest the nearest dune and head towards them.
One man turns to the other and says, "Thank goodness, we're saved!" and b...
I cannot wait for my date tonight.
Dates really are the best part of ramadan
Two men, John and Mark are going through the desert when they see a mosque.
John says, "They might give us food, water, and shelter!"
Mark says, "Yeah, but it will help if we are Muslim, so when we are there, I am Mohammed."
John replied, "Okay then Mohammed, let us go to the mosque then, but I am not changing my name."
They arrive at the mosque and are...
Why aren't there any Muslim Eskimos
When Ramadan falls in the summer they all starve to death.
Two Christians are lost in an Arabian desert
David and Michael were going on a safari where they got lost and their car stopped working, they started wondering throughout the desert. With food and water supply almost ending and no reception anywhere they were desperately looking for help. After a very long time in the heat of the desert and al...
Two guys survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert...
Two guys, John and James, survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert. With nothing better to do, and no food or water, they set out in search of civilisation.
A long while goes by, over which time they develop a fierce hunger. Suddenly, off in the distance, they spot a building. Excit...
I asked a man in a turban why he wasn't fasting
He told me you don't have to fast for Ramadan if you are Sikh.
The Sheikh trying to be smart.
Naseeruddin Shah was one of the few courtiers that the Sheikh had for actual advice rather than to please his father's acquaintances.
As such, he tested Naseeruddin a lot when it came to matters of patience and understanding, hoping to know where he put the line between displeasing the H...
2 Christians are lost in a desert, hungry and thirsty....
So they finally come across a mosque, and guy1 says "I'm going to tell the imam my name is Mohammed so he'll give me free food and drinks." Guy2 says "its not a good idea, I'm gonna tell him my real name." So they enter the mosque and find the imam, and they say their names. Imam says "nice to meet ...
Two Christians Were walking in the desert....
They began to feel very hungry and thirsty. Then they saw a nearby mosque. Their names were Chris and Michael and Chris suggested to change names to Muslim names so they would give them food. Chris changed his to Ahmed but Michael refused and didn't change it. They approached the Sheikh of the mosqu...
Peter and David were lost in the Sahara, hungry and thirsty ...
When they found some men in their tents.
Happy, they went to ask for food and shelter.
An arab man asked them : what are your names?
Peter replied Peter, but David, in fear, replied Mohamed.
The arab man said: Well Peter, come with me i'll get you something to eat, and as...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
So a Muslim Man is stopped on the highway...
The Muslim man was driving through a rural town in Alabama, when he is pulled over by a Redneck cop. The cop gets out of his car and approaches the window of the Muslim man's car.
"Do you know how fast you were going?" The cop says
The Muslim man responded angrily, "I had no fuckin...
Let's pretend we're Muslims
Two Christian missionaries, David and Michael, were lost in a scorching desert, dying of thirst and hunger when they saw a mosque up front.
David said: “Michael, let’s pretend we are Muslims. Otherwise, we will not get any food or water and we will die. My name will be Ahmed. What will be yo...