Ramadan Jokes

The Hunger Games

There were two white christian men, Adam and Jack, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.


As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could ... read more

They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.

"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some food and something to drink. You'll be Hassan, and I'll be Muhammed", said Roger.

"No way, man. ... read more

A man goes to an imam and says "I want to get married, find me a spouse."

The imam says "I can't promise I can find you a spouse but if you fast tomorrow, by sunset you'll have a date."

..Lunch is on me.

They *fast* during Ramadan!

Now I have a religious reason to be broke and starving

On a hot Ramadan day, the Bektashi and his friend are caught by the police while eating watermelon in public. Both are taken to the police station. The commissioner asks the friend:

"It's the holy month of Ramadan, aren't you ashamed to eat openly?"

The friend, with a bowed head, can't... read more

Bob and Steve, happened to be lost in Arabian desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.

Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is
Mohammad, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"

Steve s... read more

Really - that’s because it’s fastfood

and I'm having at least two dates every night

Gotta go fast!

Putting the SLIM back into Muslim

Other muslims are still fasting, but I was faster.

Eid Mubarak!

They're Outdated.

It really puts the slim in Muslim

Rama-done

Gimme gimme gimme a naan after midnight

...now i have religious reasons to be broke and starving.

Note: reposting this as a mark of respect for all those who are practicing it.

Ramadusk.

They were fast friends!

Unfortunately, the river is home to a big mean alligator with a voracious appetite.

"We have no choice but to cross the river anyways, or we will starve on this side." says the cow and she crosses the river. Miraculously, she was unharmed. The gator only looks at her with indifference and let... read more

David and Michael were going on a safari where they got lost and their car stopped working, they started wondering throughout the desert. With food and water supply almost ending and no reception anywhere they were desperately looking for help. After a very long time in the heat of the desert and al... read more

Two guys, John and James, survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert. With nothing better to do, and no food or water, they set out in search of civilisation.

A long while goes by, over which time they develop a fierce hunger. Suddenly, off in the distance, they spot a building. Excit... read more

They begin to trek through the sands trying to find help. After a day and night of walking the two men are dying from thirst and so incredibly hungry when they spot 3 camels crest the nearest dune and head towards them.

One man turns to the other and says, "Thank goodness, we're saved!" and b... read more

Dates really are the best part of ramadan

Refrain Rub Ramadan

Old Muslim joke.

Giorno and Gyro are lost in Morocco, they are hungry, they haven't eaten anything for 1 day.

Gyro sees a mosque :

- Gyro : hey it’s a mosque maybe we can ask for food.
- Giorno : we aren’t Muslims they probably won’t give us any food.
- Gyro : we can c... read more

This month, I have a date every night.

Because they're going to fast.

When Ramadan falls in the summer they all starve to death.

When they found some men in their tents.

Happy, they went to ask for food and shelter.

An arab man asked them : what are your names?

Peter replied Peter, but David, in fear, replied Mohamed.

The arab man said: Well Peter, come with me i'll get you something to eat, and as... read more

They began to feel very hungry and thirsty. Then they saw a nearby mosque. Their names were Chris and Michael and Chris suggested to change names to Muslim names so they would give them food. Chris changed his to Ahmed but Michael refused and didn't change it. They approached the Sheikh of the mosqu... read more

He told me you don't have to fast for Ramadan if you are Sikh.

So they finally come across a mosque, and guy1 says "I'm going to tell the imam my name is Mohammed so he'll give me free food and drinks." Guy2 says "its not a good idea, I'm gonna tell him my real name." So they enter the mosque and find the imam, and they say their names. Imam says "nice to meet ... read more

Two Christian missionaries, David and Michael, were lost in a scorching desert, dying of thirst and hunger when they saw a mosque up front.

David said: “Michael, let’s pretend we are Muslims. Otherwise, we will not get any food or water and we will die. My name will be Ahmed. What will be yo... read more