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1991 Jokes

A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...

They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The...

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An upset man has filed a lawsuit against Nirvana over the band's iconic 1991 album cover.

Sounds like a baby just trying to grab some money.

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The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Jose :"Abraham Lincoln, 1863....

I went through airport security and the alarm went off

The TSA agent asked if I had any metal on me.

I said hell yeah I do, pulled out a Metallica CD and slammed it on the table.

I was detained and strip searched but it was worth it.

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In 1991,

Pee Wee Herman was arrested for masturbating in a movie theater. What a lot of people do not realize is that he represented himself in court, believing he could get himself off.

In 1991, a country banned expressions of surrender, acceptance, or agreement.

That marked the fall of the "So be it" Union.

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The Penis Study

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to ...

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Two men are hanging out at a bar, when one asks the other...

“Mate, if somebody gave you ten million dollars to have sex with Freddie Mercury, would you do it?

The other man, who is gay, says “I see no downside.”

The first man said: “Dude, Freddie Mercury died in 1991.”

The other one replied, “Exactly.”

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Have you heard the old one about a woman doing a survey on sexual attitudes?

She stops an airline pilot and asks him, amongst other things, when he last had sexual intercourse. He replies 1958. Now, knowing airline pilots, the researcher is surprised and queries this. Well, says the pilot, it's only 2110 now.

(Credit, John Cleese c. 1991)

Indian On The Road

I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can te...

The Mysterious Letters of Gustavo Rahre

Gustavo Rahre (1932-1991) was an eccentric Chilean artist who left mysterious sculptures of letters of the alphabet scattered in remote locations around the globe. Working with local materials—limestone, sandstone, granite, clay, even wood and peat—he sculpted his first letter, an O, not far from hi...

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I always loved to play the game 'telephone' at parties.

I love to fuck with everyone by changing the sentence or phrase completely to confuse every body. They never could figure out how we got from "what a beautiful day to do nothing" to "mission report, December 16, 1991"

Back in the early nineties, the Byrds lost two of their original band members.

Gene Clark (tambourine and vocals) and Michael Clarke (drums) died in 1991 and 1993, respectively. Not a lot of people know this, but shortly after finishing his term as our 41st president, George H. W. Bush actually joined the Byrds during a special memorial concert held in Florida, near the home o...

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Hilarious, subversive memo sent to 20,000 federal employees early in computer mass-messaging age

This memo was sent out to 20,000 federal employees in my agency in the early 1990s, when federal computer systems first got mass messaging. The first incarnation of this system allowed *any employee* to mass message. Some low-level employee sent this to all. Needless to say, the agency immediatel...

Russianbias

Twenty-five years ago, in December of 1991, the Soviet Union disintegrated. Humorist J.P. O'Rourke, the author of "The Baby Boom: How It Got That Way" told us, "Many of my favorite jokes came from behind the Iron Curtain. Maybe because humor was particularly sharp because it was the only weapon peop...

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A Dog Named Sex.

*This is an old joke and this is another form of it. Only few details are changed*

**A Dog Named 'Sex'**

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him *rover* or *spot*. I called mine *sex*. Now sex has been very embarrassing to me when I went to the city hall to renew the dog's lic...

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