What does Saddam Hussein and a sperm cell have in common?

One lived in Baghdad the other lives in your Dad's bag.

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The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by t...

What did Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common?

They both had Kurds in their way.

I high-fived Saddam Hussein

Didn't want to leave him hanging

Saddam Hussein was found Guilty in a Court of Law

but he was given a suspended sentence

Why didn’t Saddam Hussein watch Return of the King?

He was living under Iraq

Where was Saddam Hussein found hiding?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

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I spent £96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

It was the grater of two evils.

I thought Republicans were the stupidest people in the world for calling Obama "Hussein"

Then I saw the Democrats call Trump "Drumpf"

An Iraqi man was fleeing the Saddam Hussein regime in 1997....

An Iraqi man was fleeing the Saddam Hussein regime in 1997 and ended up in a refugee camp in India. There, he met a lovely young woman, who happened to be the caretaker of the camp. They eventually started dating and were truly in love. One night, the woman asked if he would marry her.

The we...

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Why did Saddam Hussein never have sex?

....because he was afraid he'd see Bush.

I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould....

I think I've set a dangerous president.

What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band?

My Chemical Romance

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

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A man saw a sign in a yard that said "Talking dog for sale $10"

He laughs and says "Yeah right, I gotta check this out". He knocks on the door and an old man answers. The guy says "I saw the sign for the talking dog for sale". Old man says "Yep, he's out back". They walk around to the back and the old man leads the guy to the fenced in area where the dog is slee...

In the middle east its hard to tell who's crazy,

And Hussein.

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The Smiths move to a small town called Kwisition...

They're a white family, and all of their neighbors belong to various ethnic backgrounds. African-Americans (the Jacksons), Arabs (the Husseins), Italians (the Capitanis), Japanese (the Takedas), Spanish (the Garcias), Brazilian (the Silveiras), and many others.

The closest neighbors to the Sm...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

Two converts set off to go join ISIS...

Hasan and Hussein set off to go join ISIS. Hasan flew to Istanbul first class, but Hussein was on the no fly list and had to stow away on an empty oil tanker. But Hasan gifted Hussein a heavy backpack of food and cigarettes to make the trip more bearable.

But when they got to Syria, the ISI...

Saddam's Ghost

Saddam Hussein had no sooner died than finding himself in hell, face to face with the Genie whom he had found as a child.

"You are a horrible Genie! You failed me with my three wishes!"

"No I didn't, Saddam...let's review...You wished to be a great leader of your country. This came tru...

True Story of Joke Told at Ft Benning, GA

In class 92-1 of Infantry Officer Basic course we were in a large lecture hall in building 4 at Ft. Benning, GA. Desert Storm had just finished less than a year previously and we were one of the first classes of new infantry officers to get a look at all the cool intelligence from Iraq. We were th...

Two Mothers Are Sitting Together At An Outdoor Café In Baghdad...

**Mother 1**: [*pulls out picture from purse*] "This is my son Abdullah. He would have been 25 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."

**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes I remember when he lost his first tooth..."

[*sighs*]

**Mother 1**: [*pulls out another picture*] "This is my son Hussein...

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