This joke may contain profanity. 🤔


A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, w...

Why doesn't George RR Martin use twitter?

Because he killed all 144 characters

-stolen from /r/gameofthrones

A man goes to the mechanic.

He says "My car goes rr- rr-rr-"
The mechanic says "Yes, the transmission probably needs replacing."

The man frowns and says "My car goes rr-rr-rr-"
The mechanic says "Yes, the transmission probably needs replacing."

The man looks angry and says "Would you l-let me ff-finish! I h...

Me: dad can i marry my grandmom

Dad: You WaNt To MaRrY mY mOm.
Me: you married my mom but u don't see me complain about it

What do you call a Soviet Pirate

A member of the USSaRR

Jesus keeps an eye on the pearly gates.

St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.

After a while, Jesus sees a littl...

What does it look like when you beat someone over the head with a keyboard?

,rr,lrwARFGZL,EFWAbn hbjgffsddvsasfdsfddfggfgghhghjmhjhggfgvd cxekhs5gthvce78iu

The Talking Dog version two

A man walks into a bar with a mutt on a leash.

The bartender says "Hey, Mac. We don't allow dogs in here!"

The man says, "But wait, he's a special talking dog. Can we stay if I can prove it?"

The bartender thinks for a second and says, "Fine, prove he can talk and I'll let you...

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