As the first fleet rounded the headlands and sailed into Botany bay the local Aborigines could see several men looking towards them through big fancy telescopes. One of the Aborigines comments "stupid white man,

can't even play the didgeridoo".

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of ...

Why do they sell knives with a rounded end

They seem pointless

A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up...

he had 50.

All transactions should be rounded down if you ask me...

But that's just my 0 cents.

I rounded up all the anti-vaxx people in the world to tell them a joke…

but none of them were old enough to understand.

Yesterday I saw aliens for the first time, they were tall and had blue skin with giant eyes. But what struck me the most is that they came in a green spaceship that had a rounded format

Turns out they do come in peas

I'm not fat.

I'm just a well-rounded person.

Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners?

Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

A Irishman is on his deathbed with a priest by his side.

The Irishman is surrounded by his wife, his two children and a priest and as he feels death near, states his will.
He says to his wife Mary,
"My dear wife, you are the love of my life, so you shall receive the houses in Belfast"
He says to his son Tim,
"Tim, you were always a good lad, s...

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