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Rotated Jokes

Mechanic: "When were your tires last rotated?"

Me: "On the way here, silly."

The mechanic asked me if I've ever rotated my tires.

How does he think I got here?

Why do pictures rotated counter clockwise hate giving high fives

Because they're always *left hanging*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, a priest goes to mechanic to get tires rotated on his car...

...as car is about to be lowered from the lift, priest ask his mechanic:


"Are those lugnuts tight enough?"


*"Tighter than nun's cunt, father"*


"You best give them another tug then, son""

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today?

We would get paid every day, and all women would bleed to death.

Many people recognize that the Russian flag is an homage to the French flag.

But did you know their military flag is an homage to the old French military flag as well? The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. Now the Russians use the same one, just rotated 90 degrees.

My mechanic tried to scam me because he didn’t think I knew about cars

I took my car to get an oil change and they were like “would you like us to rotate your tires?” I was like “Ummm. I rotated them a bunch on the way over jackass!”

A man who knows little about cars takes his car into the mechanic for an oil change

After the mechanic finishes with the oil change, she comes out to talk to the man.

"Well, I'm all done with the oil change, but I did notice something, it looks like your brake light fluid needs to be replaced."

The man responds, "Oh, I don't think I've ever had that changed before. Go...

A kid walks into a car shop to get his get his first oil change.

"Oh, you're in for an oil change, okay. Also, while you're in do you know the last time the car had a tire rotation?" the worker says.

The kid looks at the worker confused,"Sir, I dont want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but the tires rotated on the way here."

Why is everyone always telling me to invest in a retirement program?

If I have them rotated every 6000 miles like I'm supposed to I shouldn't have to re-tire in the first place.

I regularly mess with the owner of the restaurant across the road.

I myself am a restaurant owner and regularly go into the restaurant across the street to mess with the owners head.

It started out small, changing the salt in the salt shakers for sugar. Removing the labels from tin cans so they wouldn’t know what’s in them. During this whole time the owner ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plastic surgeon invented a new experimental facelift technique called The Dial.

It consisted of installing a dial on the top of the patients head that could be rotated to tighten the skin. A woman signs up for the procedure and every goes well until she returns to him a couple weeks later.

"Doctor, everything was going fine, but a few days ago I noticed that I was develo...

Santa's annual check ride

As the sled rotated off the runway, the examiner pulled a double-barreled shotgun from under his cloak and blasted one of the raindeer. He then turned to the perplexed Santa and said "Engine failure on take-off!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Help Wanted

A lumber mill posts a help wanted ad for a lumber inspector and receives only one application. When they call the prospective employee in for an interview they realize he is an elderly man who is very clearly blind. The manager is skeptical that a blind man could be a lumber inspector, but after som...

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