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I listen to a band named Magma

It's pretty underground

What did the Igneous rock say to the Magma.

I'm you but cooler.

Devil: This is the lake of lava you will be spending eternity in

Me: Actually, since we're underground, it would be magma

Devil: You understand this is why you're here, right?

An IT guy goes to hell

When he gets there the devil begins to explain his everlasting torment. "Down here you will wade in scalding magma, always burning and unable to die. There will be noxious fumes that pour into your lungs, you will always be suffocating but always conscious. You will be whipped and flayed and never r...

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An atheist dies, goes to hell, and finds himself in a lush park with butterflies.

His physical body has transformed back into its prime and he's then greeted by Satan who says "Why hello there! Welcome to hell. Let me show you around, you're gonna love it here."

Satan points to a nice house and says "what do you think of this house?" The atheist replies "It's beautiful, I ...

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My friend just got a degree in volcanology.

He graduated Magma Cum Lava.

How would one describe an especially pleasing surface magma flow?


What does baby volcano say to his volcano mom?


What type of rocks are hipsters?

Igneous rocks, because they were magma before it was cool.

I dropped my lava lamp into a deep hole in the ground.

And now I can’t reach my magma lamp.

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