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Robin Hood Jokes

I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor!

A poor peasant is traveling the woody paths of Barnsdale, when a hooded man walks up to him.

Robin Hood: **"HALT!"**

**"*****I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!"***

Peasant: *"I have nothing, I've been hungry for years you see"*...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robin Hood was dying

Robin Hood was dying. He had lived a great many years, and now he was old, grey, and bedridden. He put out messages for all his friends to see him; and so at the appointed hour, Maid Marian, Little John, Friar Tuck, and the rest of the Merry Men gathered in his bedchamber.

"Maid Marian, my l...

Robin Hood went to see a doctor...

...he was diagnosed with Menintightis.

Where did Robin Hood buy flowers?

Sherwood Florist

What was Robin Hood's favourite variety of font?

Sans-sheriff

Robin Hood fought long and hard to keep religion out of Sherwood Forest...

Until one day his bow broke. The next day Tuck arrived and stayed with the merry men.

Remember, only yew can prevent forest friars!

Robin hood gave a poor man a bag of gold

“Here, poor man,” Robin hood smiled. “Take this bag of gold, I took it from a rich man.”

“Thank you so much!” The man said as he got a little teary. “Now I’m rich!”

Robin hood turned back to the man.

“You’re what?”

How is Oedipus like Robin Hood?

He's the prince of Thebes.

Robin Hood's Successor

It had been many years since Robin Hood began his quest of "stealing from the rich and giving to the poor". By now he was growing old and tired, and wanted to find someone who could carry on his legacy and lead a new band of Merry Men.

He searched through many villages for someone he could de...

What's he difference between Robin Hood and Robinhood?

Robin Hood is apt to steal while Robinhood is app to steal.

Robin Hood doesn't always have to steal from the rich and give to the poor...

...it sherwood help though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks her class.

Teacher: "Can any tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Little Johnny: "Yes Miss, it's Trudy Glen."

Teacher: "No Johnny, the answer is Maid Marion."

Johnny: "But miss in the song it says, Robin Hood, Robin Hood,

riding Trudy Glen."

I had an injection to prevent me from becoming Robin Hood.

Yeah, it was the MenInTightus Jab.

What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?

Dep-archers

A man asked Robin Hood, "would you rob from the rich to give to the poor?"

To which he replied, "I Sher-would."

Yesterday, when I rode through Nottingham Forest, I witnessed a bizarre scene: Robin Hood was in the middle of a sandwich with Richard Lionheart and a homeless girl.

Surprised, I stopped and shouted "What are you doing?"


And Robin Hood shouted back: "Can't you see that? I take it from Rich and give it to the poor."

A group of women made a religion about Robin Hood

They were called Menintights

I went to a costume party last night and a guy dressed as Robin Hood said to me "Tally-Ho!"

I looked around and said "Seven, but I think most are just costumes".

A joke I translated from Russian

A pauper is sitting by a road in medieval England. All of a sudden, Robin Hood comes out of the forest, throws a bag of gold at the pauper's feet and says, "I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."

The pauper tears up, embraces Robin Hood and says, "I am finally rich." Rob...

Three men are challenging each other's aim by shooting an apple on someone's head.

The first man fired his pistol 20 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm James Bond." He said.

The second man shot an arrow 30 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm Robin Hood." He said.

The third threw a boomerang 40 meters away, hits the forehead of that person.

"I'm sorr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He then addressed the men, 'Can y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robin Hood goes out on another mission

Same old same old, steal from the rich, give to the poor.

On this particular run he decides to go to a new town and find the wealthiest man to rob.

Being that he didn’t know anybody, he asked a bum he met on the road who the richest man in town was.

After learning this, Robin Ho...

Three men line up to show off their skills at archery

They are to shoot off the apple off of a young boy's head. The first one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple clean off of the boy's head, and says, "I am Robin Hood!". The second one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple of the boy's head, and says, "I am William Tell!". The third on...

if a Marxist rewrote the tale of Robin of Locksley, he would title it...

Little Red Robin Hood.

It's medieval time. There are bets being put on on who can shoot the apple from a man's head.

First goes Robin Hood. He shoots it right at the apple and says:"I'm Robin Hood."
Then there goes William Tell. He shoots the arrow at the apple and it even destroys the apple and he says:"I'm William Tell."
And then comes the third guy. He aims and shoots the arrow right in the guy's head and...

I'm totally excited about our new black neighbor.

'Cause my dad says he is Robin Hood.

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