Rio Jokes

The kidnappers are willing to pay any amount for her release.

Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified.

He took a look at photographs, saw that giant Jesus statue, and exclaimed, "Wow; what amateurs! They didn't even texture him, and rendered him in T-pose!"

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.

I don’t know either, but I would bet at least a Brazilian

one, a texan on the us side of the river and the other, a mexican on the other. a duck flies over, both shoot, the duck falls and lands on sandbar in the middle of the river. both men claim to have shot the duck, so the texan offers a solution. "lets start kickin' each other in the nuts till one of ... read more

You tell a Rio bad joke.

None of the North Korean athletes defected.

But he says he's probably not gonna go. His ears work pretty good already.

He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting.

And that's just the athletes.

I'm going to miss the Apollo app, it made Reddit worthwhile.

The test consisted of releasing a bunny in the woods and giving it a 1 hour head start. The police department that found the bunny in the least amount of time would go on to the next phase.

First one to go was Scotland Yard. Using their best detectives, deductive skills and evidence analysis,... read more

It was a fabricated story.

Wai Tu Yung

Rio Olympics

At a certain
point in the travel, they wanted to know
where in the world they are. But the
American has an idea and says:
"I think we are in New York. Let me confirm"
So he opens his window (believe me, it was
a very modern airplane) and put his arm
out. "I was right. Just touch... read more

Heard he's really big over there!

The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down.
After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town.
On a hunch, he checked the tow... read more

A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how fri... read more

It was time for me to move away from all these toxic people to a whole new place. So, I bought a large US map, put it on the wall, and decided to move to the place my dart hits.



Viva la Vida, here I come, Rio.

CPA: "Terrible news, sir. Three Brazilian men were killed outside of an embassy in Rio."

Trump: "That is terrible news. We must act immediately. But first, tell me again, how many is a Brazilian?"

[ An employee returning from his vacation is talking to his boss ]


So, how was your trip to Rio de Janeiro?

*It sucked. The entire country is just soccer and hookers.*

My wife's from Brasil.

*Oh... What team does she play for?*

TIL that, until about 1930, Brazil was known officially as the United States of Brazil, or USB. So, does that mean that Rio de Janeiro was a USB port?

It was I, **RIO**!!!

As the priest follows the map through the streets of Rio De Janeiro, he gets deeper and deeper into the slums of the city. He stays true to the map, regardless of the neighborhood. An hour later, he is still following the map, regardless of the neighborhood getting even worse. There are gang members... read more

(...) and the three finalists on this efficiency competition were: Interpol, FBI and Rio de Janeiro's Elite Squad.

The last assignment was really simple. They should retrieve a small rabbit after being released in a jungle. The group doing it in less time wins.

First went Interpol, wit... read more

Disclaimer: This is only a joke, whatever or whoever I have stated are only for entertainment purpose only.



Once an organization of experts invented a robot that captured thieves.

So in order to test their invention they took to some places around the world to really see how ma... read more

Unfortunately, something went wrong in the cloning process and resulted in the clone being pure evil. As soon as he was released from the cloning vat, the evil clone killed the good Bill Nye and escaped. Much later, after hunting him for years, Neil deGrasse Tyson finally caught up with the evil clo... read more

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas Edition".

The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas then drive a circuit to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Brownsville, Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, Amarillo, Abilen... read more

The explorer glared at King Kong in awe, and approached him slowly. King Kong seemed to be quite passive, so the explorer slowly reached out and shyly touched him. But as soon as he made contact with the gorilla’s fur, King Kong went berserk. He immediately rose to his feet, began beating his chest ... read more

Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were
about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the
three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop into the river and drift out of sight

The... read more

A Russian, Mexican and Texan are all fishing and drinking on a boat on the Rio grande. The Russian cracks open a brand new bottle of vodka, takes one swig, then throws the bottle up in the air and shoots it with his pistol. The Mexican said, "why you do that for homes?" the Russian said, "comrade wh... read more