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Reliving Jokes

A retired couple sitting at home was reliving their 50 years of marriage together.

The wife finally had gotten the courage to ask “Whats the cigar box under the bed you told me to never open?”

The husband sat a moment and then got up, abruptly leaving the room. When he returned, he had the cigar box. He sat down and opened it. Inside, there were three 50$ bills.

“I w...

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What do you get when a boob is reliving it’s past?

Mammories

Pirates

A young man gets promoted to first mate on a rich merchant ship. One beautiful Caribbean day there’s a shout from the crows nest.
“Captain , there is one pirate ship on the horizon” to which the Captain yells to his first mate “ first mate, quick, get me my red shirt!!!!”
The first mate quickl...

The Professor's Lecture

Professor Drobkin was about to lead a lecture in front of a large group of students and fellows at the University, and he was terribly nervous. He had never been very good at speaking in front of large audiences, so he'd practiced at home constantly with a set of notecards.

When he was summon...

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Immortal porpoises

One day Timmy has had enough. He is completely burned out, so he decides to use his saved up vacation days to go hiking in the mountains. He packs his tent and all his camping gear, and starts driving.

After many hours of driving he finialy arrives. He puts his backpack on his back and hea...

I cried while cutting up an onion today...

...I think I was just reliving the time that onion molested me as a kid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I shouldn't come here anymore

My therapist said I need to stop reliving the past.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFWish] A boy was walking along the docks one day and came across a pirate ship...

He looked up and admired, in complete amazement, the beauty of the massive ship with all of the details and marks of a real life pirate ship. As if this wasn't enough, the boy then noticed a man sitting by the ship with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. He went up to the man an...

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