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Rehabilitation Jokes

What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called?

Anonymous Anonymous

There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.

Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.

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A group of prisoners is in their rehabilitation meeting.

Their task for the day is to each stand up in turn, speak his name and admit to his fellow inmates what crime he has committed.

The first prisoner stands and says, "My name is Daniel and I’m in for murder!" Everyone gives him approving look and pats him on the back for admitting his wrongdoi...

Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth.

Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth.

"Why would you ever do such a thing!" He exclaimed.

"Well you see Mr Gandalf, after our adventure we haven't been able to feel the euphoria of being a hero until we tried this wonderful magic crys...

At a substance rehabilitation center, a sign is displayed on the lawn

"Keep off of the grass"

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Bill complained to his friend that his elbow hurt, so his friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything.

He said ''Just insert a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he inserted the sam...

Dark humor xD

A husband got called into a hospital. His wife's just had a really bad car accident... He's pacing nervously in waiting hall expecting the doctor to come out of the OR. Finally the doctor comes out.

- 'How is she, doctor?'
- 'Well, she's alive... and that's good news. But there is some bad...

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Do they have rehabilitation services for people who are addicted to Kaopectate?

Because this shit needs to stop.

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A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods.

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods. They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psychiatrist asks "What are you doing?" She replies "...

I run a rehabilitation program where we get prison inmates to write poetry to help them cope with their emotions.

I call it:
Prose and Cons

I felt like doing some service today, so I decided to donate some video games to the Rehabilitation Center for Meth Addicts.

They seemed particularly fond of "Need for Speed".

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[dirty one] One day this carpenter had a accident at work where he lost his arm.

Luckily his brother worked with robotics.. and gave him a voice response robotic arm to help him out.

After a few week the carpenter went back to work and began with simple commands.

*'Hammer!' The arm reacted and started hammering nails never missing a nail.*

*'Saw!' The arm re...

A woman had a car accident.

A husband was called to the hospital because his wife had a car accident.
Nervous waiting for the doctor, finally the doctor appears with a compassionate face.
- And what?! What about her, doctor ?!
- Well ... she's alive. And that's good news.
But there are also bad: your wife, unfortun...

A local prison introduced an English Literature course...

.. during the inmates' free time. The thought behind it was that if the prisoners had lessons on great writers such as Joyce, Hemingway, or Poe it would help them express themselves as well as helping with their rehabilitation back into society. Unfortunately, the program failed. It seems that when ...

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A Serious Accident

A man wakes up in a hospital after a serious accident. He looks around and sees the doctor coming up to him. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will be able to walk again without rehabilitation. The bad news is that due to the severity of the accide...

Getting back on his feet

A man working in a warehouse suffers a terrible accident when a heavy crate falls on his feet crushing and severing all of his toes. At the hospital he undergoes several hours of surgery. After months of rehabilitation he is able to walk again.

He decides to visit his favorite local bar. Seei...

The whole story

It was evident from the start that Joe Bob was kind but wasn’t very bright. His bumbling and stumbling often irritated people greatly, and so, they became impatient with him. Joe Bob’s mother worried endlessly for her son until one day she went to seek the advice of a wise old woman that lived in a ...

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