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A king summons three of his most loyal subjects to a meeting

The king looks at the first man, who was named Rand.

"Rand, kiss my hand!" he orders.

Rand obeys him and kisses his hand. The king looks at the second subject, who was called Lee.

"Lee, kiss my knee!"

Lee obeys and kisses his king's knee. The king turns in the direction o...

Why did Rand Paul delay the vote on the COVID-19 response?

He wasn't sure how to vote and wanted to wait until he was positive.

I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP

I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar...

The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.

So, apparently Rand Paul was sucker punched...

So Rand Paul, who happens to be an ophthalmologist, apparently got into a fight with his neighbor, an anesthesiologist. Paul claims he was sucker punched, but neither man was badly hurt.

Does make you wonder, though - an ophthalmologist who didn't see it coming and an anesthesiologist who fai...

Did you hear that Rand McNally is trying to increase product sales by hiding evidence of a flat Earth?

Yes. It’s a global conspiracy.

What's the difference between George Orwell and Ayn Rand?

People went to George Orwell's funeral to mourn him. People went to Ayn Rand's funeral to make sure it was her.

Charlie Kirk, Ayn Rand and Gary Johnson walk into a bar.

They all die of lead poisoning because there's no goverment to regulate how much lead the barman is allowed to put into his drinks.

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What do Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Ayn Rand have in common?

They are all dead.

Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016

Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision

What did Ayn Rand write after finally getting slipped a mickey by bloodthristy commies?

Atlas Drugged


I'll show myself out

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Did you hear about George Clooney?

George Clooney called 14 of his closest friends and said “Hey, mark Sept 27th, 2013, on your calendar. Everyone’s going to come to my house for dinner.”

The 14 friends belonged to varying economic backgrounds. One of them was married to Cindy Crawford while another was riding his bicycle on h...

Ishmael is lying on his death bed...

...at the ripe old age of 97. He weakly raises his head and, through whispered, labored breaths, asks, "Where is my wife, Elena?"

"Oi vey, I am here, my love," whimpers the elderly woman as she clutches her husband's hand.

"This is good," says Ishmael. "And what of my son, Abraham? Is ...

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

What’s the difference between a luxury SUV a rich South African?

One is a Land Rover, the other is a rand lover

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A woman asks her most understanding friend for advice before her date.

Her friend asks what she thinks the problem in her love life is.

"Well, they tend to leave as soon as I start talking about politics. It's a part of my identity and I just can't help it."

The friend advises her to say everything in her head and judge whether it's political before sayin...

A story about a man with no arms.

One day, a man with no arms was low of money and decided he needed a job. So he went to the local church and talked to the priest. He told the pastor that he wanted to be the bell ringer, despite the fact that he had no arms.

The priest pondered this, and said "if you can go ring the bell at...

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The problem with Iron Fist...

The problem with Netflix's Iron Fist show is pretty simple.

See, Marvel is trying to be diverse not just in front of the camera, but behind it. They want to really show respect for the communities their characters are drawn from.

So Jessica Jones is a woman, and they made an effort to ...

3 guys just arrived to heaven and...

3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names:

- "Rand" kiss my hand!

- "Pete" kiss my feet!

Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?

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