I test microphones and speakers for a living...

Let me know if anyone has any feedback.

Looking for feedback on a terribad joke I made up

Last night at 7:30 I went to my uncle's sixty second birthday party...

It was over by 7:31.

I bought oats for my horse but they were moldy so I returned them and told the manager he should have better quality control.

He took my feedback.

Donald Trump's first summit with Kim Jong-un was only to get feedback about the quality of his tweets.

Who better to ask than the Supreme Reader?

XM Radio is looking for feedback on Reddit about how to improve customer service

They're taking Sirius replies only.

Marketing terms explained

1. You see a beautiful girl at a party. You walk right over to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
\--That's direct marketing.


2. You're at a party with friends and see a beautiful girl. One friend goes over to her, points at you, and says, "He's fantastic in bed."
\--That...

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher, who always yelled at him saying "you are driving me crazy, Bashir".

One day his mother went to check how he was doing at school and the t...

They asked me for my feedback in a restaurant.

I puked on the plate.

If you have a presentation, you should practice with a microphone.

Why? Because they will always give you feedback.

“Customer feedback.”

A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.

The surprised girl said, “What was that?”

The guy smiled at her, “Direct marketing!”

The girl slapped him soundly.

“What was that?!” said the boy, holding his cheek.

...

If Reddit up/down voting were to be applied in real life as an immediate feedback of the spoken word

crowed subway trains would be a much quieter place.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Appolcolypse

A zombie apocalypse had enveloped the earth. 99.9% of the world’s population had been annihilated and Carl, lone survivor, was venturing the land looking for somewhere to take shelter.

One day, he came across a prison. The place was full of people armed with swords, spears, axes and all kin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I learned recently that 9/10 men masturbate regularly

You don't want to know how the last guy does it...


Note: all my jokes I post here are originals I'm working on, so as always, feedback is good yadda yadda yadda

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde visits a doctor... (NSFW)

A blonde visits a doctor and upon being inquired by the doctor of her predicament, says, "I seem to have a pain inside my ass. It feels a bit sore and I can't seem to get rid of it."

Taking note of her problem, the doctor requests the blonde to discard her shorts and bend over the bed by the ...

An audio technician becomes a comedian

An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.

He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.

At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.

That was the last night he ever did comedy.

The feedback ruined it.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"


That's Direct Marketing.


You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.


One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says,


"He's very rich. Marry him."
...

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife's favorite joke

It took me months to gather courage to post this here, but, it's finally time. It's a terrible joke, so please be gentle.

A drunk man climbs a street light, and starts yelling that he will commit suicide.

A woman who was passing by, sees the scene, and start trying to convince the man ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Monk's Secret

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a st...

What is it called when your toddler spits out everything you make for him?

Feedback

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend wanted a chemistry joke, so I made this up for her

So a guy and his girlfriend, sophomores in college, were picking classes. They were struggling with their relationship, and picking classes was just stressful for them. They were able to get the exact same schedule except for one class. That's when the guy got up, grabbed his things and say "Sorry, ...

What do unsatisfied customers of prosthetic feet give the manufacturer?

Their feedback.

Why is it hard to know what a baby wants?

Because when you feed it, it doesn't feedback.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to an interview for an entry level position..

HR Manager: "We've done a small background check on you. Your current boss tells us that you have no technical or business skills. You report late to office every day, spend 3 hrs on lunch/breaks, 2 hrs on checking mails and remaining time on useless meetings. Your colleagues also describe you as a ...

Why are sound guys so bad at taking criticism?

They hate feedback.

A staff member once said..

The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes.

As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average p...

Did you hear about the sound technician that got fired recently?

Apparently he couldn't handle feedback.

Amazon Asked Me to Write a Review

Amazon asked for feedback on the used telescope I bought from their site.

I was honest with my review: "This telescope sucked. Two Stars."

A farmer arrives at a local market and asks a merchant, "Can I get some feed for my chickens?"

"Sure, how much do you want?" the merchant replies.

"Well I recon I'll need about 9 bags."

The merchant gathers up some feed and hands the farmer 11 bags.

"Uh, I said I only needed 9 bags."

"Oh, I'm so sorry I thought you said 11, my mistake."

"It's no big deal, I'...

[Composer Joke] JS Bach died and went to heaven...

After he died, Bach landed at the Pearly Gates where God was waiting. "Bach! hallelujah!" God said: "Our angelic choir is in need of a new oratorio, and with how many songs you've composed, you MUST be the man for the job."

Bach sighed, then said:

"God, I've spent my entire life comp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

r/jokes, let's have a chat.

Hello, r/jokes. I've come here to point out two things that have been irking this community since they have started. They both are unnecessary, hated by the community, and are downvoted into oblivion.

The first thing is this "the x fainted". Please stop. The majority of the subreddit knows ab...

Someone used a cane to point out stuff instead of a laser pointer during a presentation today.

He asked for feedback on his presentation.

I said it was fantastick

LPT: Never tell a sound technician how they are doing.

They hate feedback.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NBC President Flies Into Rage After Network Fails to Produce Industry Minimum Ten Cop Shows‏

NEW YORK - During a staff meeting this week, NBC President of Entertainment Robert Greenblatt erupted into a profanity-laced tirade when he was informed that the network's new season of prime-time dramas and comedies failed to meet The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) requ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sacrilegious ad-man

Father Bill is down at his local pub one night when he runs into Don, an old friend from school. They start talking old times and eventually Don brings the conversation around to the fact that Bill seems to be a man of the cloth.

"You see Bill, I'm actually in advertising, and I've been worki...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.