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Blondie Jokes

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A blondie goes to the casino

A beautiful blonde girl goes to the casino with all her cash and sits at the roulette desk. She goes to the clerk and asks if she can play being nude.

The amused clerk asked, "This is an open club and you are free to do anything you want but why would you do something like this?", to which t...

Why did 20 Blondies wait outside the bar?

They had to be 21 to enter

Blondies

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthq...

Blondes

A young blonde, out of money and down on her luck, needed some quick cash. Desperate, she decided to kidnap a child and hold it for ransom…

She went to the local playground, randomly grabbed a kid, took him behind a nearby building, and in a stern voice she told him, "You've been kidnapped, ...

I took Blondie to the movies

Just as the movie was about to start, she got up to leave.
"Where are you going?" I whispered. "The movie is about to start."
"I have to go outside," she said.
"Why on Earth do you have to go outside right now?"
"The movie man said to silence my cell phone," she pointed at the screen....

How are blondies like pianos?

When they're not upright, they're grand.

What do you call a blondie that dyed her hair Brown

Artificial intelligence

Three women (redhead, blondie and an asian) have just escaped a prison, and the cops are looking for them...

The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables' market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.

After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they're kind of weird... So he approaches and ki...

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A man walks into work with a smile

Every morning, he walks in and passes the security guard with a great big grin on his face. One day, bleary eyed, the security guard asks him why he's so chipper every morning.

"Well, it's simple. Every morning when my alarm goes off, I rub my wife on the shoulder and say 'Blondie, Blondie, e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blondie was late for class

Teacher: why you are late for class today?

Blondie: Mam, a boy was following me while I was coming.

Teacher: Then you should be early for class.

Blondie: Mam that guy was following very slowly.

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead were standing on a beach

They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.

One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers j...

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What do you get, when you cross a husky and a blondie?

Either a really stupid fucking dog, or a frost resistant bitch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know when a blondie has had a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and cant find her pencil

Proof that blondes are not, in fact, dumb.

There was a huge convention where all the guests were blonde. It was decided to prove once and for all that blondes are not really dumb.

They got the smartest blonde in the room up on stage. The announcer asks "What is 100 divided by 10?" The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "Is it s...

The new blonde waitress at the truck stop

A nasty and mean looking trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe' and placed his order. He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out ther...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to one another on a plane...

The lawyer looks at the blonde and thinks he could have a bit of fun at her expense.
So he goes: “Miss, let’s play a game, I’ll ask you a question. Any question, and if you don’t know the answer you’ll give me $20. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer I’ll give you $100!” Sh...

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I'LL KICK YOUR ASS

So a Blondie was driving one day and couldn't believe what she saw. There in a dirt field was another Blondie trying to row a boat. What are you doing? she shouted out her car window. Rowing across this field, what's it look like? Your making all Blondes look bad, whats wrong with you? Fuck you the ...

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A black guy and a white guy

A black guy and a white guy worked together for several months, and the black guy noticed the white guy was always in a good mood, smiling and whistling every morning. He finally asked him why he was so happy all the time.

“Oh, Its because I make love to my wife every morning.”

“Ever...

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

A blonde walks into a hairdressers

She asks the hairdresser for a trim. The hair dresser asks her to take a seat but tells the blonde she needs to remove her headphones.

Blondie insists she can't remove them and the lady will have to do the best job she can.

After a while the hairdresser gets frustrated and says, "sorry...

Lamborghini

A blondie was driving down the road with her Lamborghini. She stops at a red light.
A man walking on the sidewalk sees the car.


Man: “Wow.. So beautiful!”

The blonde rolled down her window.

Blonde: “Are you talking about the car or me?”

Man: “I was talking about my...

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A lawyer dies and goes to hell...

The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs “You’ve been a naughty boy haven’t you? Extortion, gambling, sex with prostitutes and even murder!”

The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.

“I’m a fair guy, what I’m going to do is let you...

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