UPJOKE
vestbulletarmoredwatertightarmouredvestsjackettintedprotectivebullet-proofflakwaterproofhandgunbombproofplexiglass

Bulletproof Jokes

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O’Shea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't see why Obama gave all his speeches behind bulletproof glass..

I know he's black and all but I doubt he'd actually shoot anyone.

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O’Shea. (ricochet)
Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George claims that his dick is the "Hardest Dick In The World!"

George will pay anyone $5000 cash to anyone who can bring him something absolutely harder than his dick.


One man brings a basketball-sized boulder. George easily smashes the boulder with his dick. The man picks up the boulder pieces and angrily walks off.


A second man brings a ...

I saw a man at the airport with a bulletproof vest

I reminded him it’s an airport not a school

America is racist

When Barack Obama gives his speech, he stands behind a bulletproof glass . That shows how racist America still is.

Just because he's black, doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone



Thanks Frankie Boyle

We get it Mr. Trump, you have bulletproof shoes.

....That doesn't mean you should keep shooting yourself in the foot.

Thirty children dead after their school mandated they wear bulletproof vests to prevent shootings.

Swimming lessons should probably have been exempted.

The french invented a new bulletproof vest

That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know why I offended the Asian man wearing a damaged bulletproof vest...

...all I said was "There's a chink in the armour."

Marriage joke

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get?”

“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”

If Batman wears kevlar armor and a bulletproof cape, why does Robin have to wear a bright-colored spandex outfit?

For the same reason: Batman doesn't like getting shot.

If eyes could shoot bullets,

I’d look into a bulletproof mirror.

I think JFK was the most open minded president.

His ideas weren't very bulletproof though.

They should make birth control for men

Because it makes more sense to fire blanks than shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Recent discoveries will make this joke obsolete, thought I'd give it one more run.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.