This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George claims that his dick is the "Hardest Dick In The World!"

George will pay anyone $5000 cash to anyone who can bring him something absolutely harder than his dick.


One man brings a basketball-sized boulder. George easily smashes the boulder with his dick. The man picks up the boulder pieces and angrily walks off.


A second man brings a ...

I saw a man at the airport with a bulletproof vest

I reminded him it’s an airport not a school

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea

When Obama gave his first speech as president he was behind bulletproof glass

I don't think it's fair.. just cuz he black don't mean he gunna shoot anyone

Thirty children dead after their school mandated they wear bulletproof vests to prevent shootings.

Swimming lessons should probably have been exempted.

If Batman wears kevlar armor and a bulletproof cape, why does Robin have to wear a bright-colored spandex outfit?

For the same reason: Batman doesn't like getting shot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know why I offended the Asian man wearing a damaged bulletproof vest...

...all I said was "There's a chink in the armour."

We get it Mr. Trump, you have bulletproof shoes.

....That doesn't mean you should keep shooting yourself in the foot.

The french invented a new bulletproof vest

That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Obama made his inaugural speech, they put him behind bulletproof glass.

And that's proof of the racism that still exists in America today. I mean, just because he's black, doesn't mean he was going to go and shoot everybody.

If eyes could shoot bullets,

I’d look into a bulletproof mirror.

I think JFK was the most open minded president.

His ideas weren't very bulletproof though.

Marriage joke

My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get?”

“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”

They should make birth control for men

Because it makes more sense to fire blanks than shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Recent discoveries will make this joke obsolete, thought I'd give it one more run.

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