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Prostate Exam Jokes

What's the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam?

2 hands on your shoulders

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A man goes for a prostate exam.

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, “Well that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

After my prostate exam the doctor walked out and the nurse walked in. Then she asked me something no man wants to hear..

Who was that?

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"?

"Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.

I was really worried when I went to prostate exam. My doctor said James you got this, just don’t get hard

Which I said: my name isn’t James.
He said yeah, mine is.

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During my prostate exam, my doctor told me it’s perfectly normal to become aroused and even ejaculate.

That being said, I still wish he hadn’t.

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

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It's so awkward getting a boner during a prostate exam.

Especially when they realize you're not a doctor.

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Prostate exam

So I’m at my urology appointment for my prostate exam.

Urologist: “Sir, you really need to stop masturbating. “

Me: surprised “Why?!?”

Urologist: “Because I really need to finish this exam.”

Prostate exam

Patient bent over naked about to get his prostate checked.
Dr says "ok Dave don't get a hard on "
Patient says " my name is Kenneth"
Dr says " my name is DAVE"

I went to get a prostate exam yesterday...

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

"You, know", the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, "it's shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure."

"I don't have an erection', I responded.
...

To had to go for my first prostate exam today.

To had to go for my first prostate exam today. Doctor came in and said, "hello, I'm doctor Williams. Please drop your pants. Now Chris, don't get an erection."
I said " my name is not Chris"
He said," I know, Chris is my name".

I went to the doctor's the other day for a prostate exam...

He gave me the thumbs up!

I was having a prostate exam...

Me:*squirms

Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

I was worried about my prostate exam

But luckily my doctor was kind enough to keep his hands on my shoulders the whole time to reassure me.

I went to the doctor to get a prostate exam.

The doctor told me to take my jeans and underpants off and to bend over the table.
As he was putting plastic gloves on, he said:

”Alright Steve, don’t get hard this time.”

”My name’s not Steve” I said.

”Yes, I know. I am Steve”.

What worse then having your doctor reach up and grab your shoulder while giving you a prostate exam?

Having your doctor reach up and grab both your shoulders while doing you prostrate exam

My friend went to the doctor for a prostate exam

The doctor asked him to bend over the exam table. Then the doctor stands behind him and tells him to relax. My friend said he heard the doctor put on his gloves and squirt some lubricant into his hand. The doctor says, “On the count of three. 1, 2, 3”, and begins the exam. After a few minutes, my bu...

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So I had my prostate exam today…

and the doc had me bend over with my pants and underwear down.

He put his left hand on my hip and his right hand he…wait…he put his right hand on my hip and…

You know what? That bastard had both hands on my hips!

How do you know your prostate exam is going really wrong?

You've got two hands on your shoulders.

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Prostate exams

Put the anal in analysis

Had my first prostate exam today

Doctor was very nice. In the middle of the exam he asked if I was ok.

I said "I'm fine, Doc. But how the hell are your hands on my shoulders right now?"

My Dr said the prostate exam can cause erections in some men

Turns out he wasn't talking about the patient.

New Prostate Exam Joke

A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam".

The patient answers "I don't have an erection"

The Doctor replies "I know,...

a man goes into a doctors office for a prostate exam

The patient says "hey doc where should I put my pants?"
The doctor says "ah just put them next to mine"

Prostate exam

A man goes to his doctor for his prostate exam. The doctor gets his glove and starts doing his thing, when suddenly, he finds a £50 note! The doctor keeps searching and finds a large amount of notes and coins at different amounts. After he's sure he got everything out, he counts it all up.

...

My doctor sent me for a prostate exam to the nearest hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called in the office and patiently suffered through the very personal examination.

When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked a question that sent shivers down my soul: “Who the heck was that?”

I got my first prostate exam last week.

Never going to that dentist again...

It's Not That I Didn't Like The Prostate Exam,

It's just the way he massages my shoulders while he's doing it.

I just got my annual prostate exam.

My doctor has me drop my pants and place both my hands on the table. He gets behind me and does his inspection.

The odd thing is though, both of his hands are always on the table too.

As the doctor slid his finger in for the prostate exam I smiled.

The doctor locked eyes with me and it suddenly got awkward.

So I ran away from the window.

“How was your prostate exam honey?”

“I was nervous at first but the doctor was very nice. He even put both his hand on my shoulders the entire time to calm me down”

I had my prostate exam yesterday.

It’s the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.

Prostate Exam

I went to the doctors for a prostate exam. He said “I should make you aware that it’s perfectly normal to get an erection during this type of examination.”
I said “But I haven’t got an erection.”
“No,” he said, “but I have.”

So I went in for my prostate exam...

The guy put on the glove and started to go up in me. It went on for quite a while. Then, he took off the glove, said to put my pants back on and left the exam room.
A minute later, the nurse came in and said the one thing I didn't want to hear...


"Who was that guy?"

During my prostate exam the doctor put his hands on my shoulders and said "Dave, it's normal to get a hard-on while doing this."

"My name is not Dave," I replied.

"Yes, I know," said the doctor, "I am Dave."

My doctor asked if I wanted a digital prostate exam..

He didn't mention there were no electronics involved but now I get his point

What is another name for your prostate exam?

Anal-aysis

,, Don't feel embarassed Sir, erection is common during a prostate exam"

,, But doctor, I don't have an erection! "

,, I know, but I do"

Didn't shower before my prostate exam today.

Doctor told me that there may be something wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

A man goes to the Doctor for a prostate exam.

The Doctor puts on his rubber glove and the man bends down. The Doctor sticks his finger and proceeds with the checkup. After about a minute the Doctor says:

\- Don't worry, it's very normal to get an erection during this exam.

The man replies:

\- But I don't have an erection....

What’s the last thing you want to hear during a prostate exam?

“Pull my finger”

My doctor said it's normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

But I would still prefer it if he didn't whip it out in the middle of our appointment.

Giving prostate exams is one of the more awkward parts of being a doctor.

I just hope my patients don't realize im a dentist.

Prostate Exam

The worst part about getting a prostate exam is the embarrassment of getting an erection -- especially when they find out I'm not a doctor.

I gave myself a prostate exam earlier.

That's the last time I buy cheap toilet roll.

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I see all these prostate exam jokes...enjoy!

Prostate Exam

A man
goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as
a precaution.

When he gets there, he discovers the
urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female
doctor says, 'I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new
pro...

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What did Kurt Cobain say when he went to his prostate exam?

"Here we are now, enter anus"

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What happens when Principal Skinner gets a prostate exam?

The doctor puts his Arm in Tamzarian.

The most embarrassing erection I ever got was during a prostate exam.

Of course then he realised I wasn’t a real doctor.

How do you know when it’s time to leave in the middle of your prostate exam?

When you feel both the doctors hands rest on your back.

I got my first prostate exam

I got my first prostate exam today and I was pretty scared about the whole ordeal. The doctor took me in the room and explained it's not all that bad and it would be over before I knew it. After a few preliminary checkups I got ready and went ahead and laid over the exam table and tried to prepare m...

My doctor used two fingers during my prostate exam...

He said he needed a second opinion.

So i went to have a prostate exam the other day

The doctor told me to take my underwear and trousers off, but i had a Complete mindblank moment and said "Where should i put them?"

He looked at me with reassuring eyes and replied "Just pop them next to mine".

I wish all doctors were this considerate.

I had my first prostate exam last week

It was the most uncomfortable thing that I've ever done in my life. It turned from bad to worse when I realized the doctor had both hands on my shoulders.

I guess I shouldn't have gone to a proctologist named Phil McCracken.

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Getting a prostate exam doesn't make you gay...

Unless you spend all day studying for it.

I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed...

I lost my pen

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A 40 year old man went go to take a prostate exam...

As the nervous man walked into the doctor's office, the male doctor told him to "relax everything will be quick". The man of course was hesitant, but agreed. The doctor said "sir I will count to 3 and then I want you to breathe in at 3, then I will enter the rectum". The man again was hesitant, but ...

You know you're in for a rough Prostate Exam...

...when you get into "position" and, right after the doctor snaps his gloves on, the nurse leans forward and gives you the "safe word"

Guy goes to the doctor for a prostate exam

Doctor warns him, "It is normal to get an erection while I perform this procedure, so don't be alarmed".

After the doctor is all finished the guy says, "Doc, I never got an erection, I didn't even feel like I was going to get one".

The doctor smiles and says, "Oh, not you silly".

I thought getting an erection during a prostate exam was inappropriate, but my Doctor told me it happens all the time, just ignore it.

I tried to but he kept rubbing it against my hip.

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I went to the doctor for my first prostate exam, and I was nervous.

I really didn't feel comfortable when the doctor put his hand on my shoulder for "extra leverage". I really felt fucked when he put the other hand on my other shoulder.

So an Evangelical Republican Senator goes in for a prostate exam...

The doctor gives him a clean bill of health, and sends him on his way. He returns a week later to get a second opinion. Another doctor confirms the first's findings. He comes back for a *third* rectal examination, swearing something is amiss, only to once again be given a clean bill of health. On th...

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What Not to Do When You Get a Prostate Exam

Last time I went in for a prostate exam, the Doctor walked in and WOWZER! She was a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! As she's doing the finger-wave, she says....."Mike, you've got to stop masturbating".....................I said "Why?" She says "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

You can accurately measure a person's intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam.

If they let you, they're an idiot.

I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said "just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam".

"I understand. I know what is involved", I reply.

The doctor elaborates, "Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection".

I consider it for a moment and say, "That's fine, I've got it under control. It should be ok".

The doctor replies, "I wasn't talking about you."

You know when you have a dentist appointment so you brush your teeth extra to have a clean mouth?

Well, I have a prostate exam coming up. Now I need a new toothbrush.

Clothing optional

I went in for my prostate exam last week. The doctor told me to take off my pants. I asked him where I should put them. “Right there next to mine” was not the answer I wanted to hear.

Erections happen all the time

A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The man seems a little uncomfortable, ...

“How many fingers now?” Asked the doctor.

Patient: “You know, this is not how I envisioned a prostate exam.”

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I went to the doctor today...

He had me take off my clothes and put on a gown so he could complete a full physical. I was worried I would be receiving a prostate exam. Anyways, he walked back in and had me pull my gown up for the ole turn your head and cough check. When I did he took one look at me and said, "Very interesting...

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Doctor's visit

A man visited his doctor for a prostate exam. The doctor warned him it might cause a strong erection. When the doctor inserted a finger in his ass no erection occurred and he let the doctor know. "Oh, I didn't mean it would happen to you!"

I went to see Dr Hook in the 70’s

The worst prostate exam ever

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