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Testicular Jokes

I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs....

when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.

What body of water is full of testicular mites?

The Baltic Sea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just found out testicular cancer runs in our family…

Which means even our balls grow a pair!

Did you hear about the testicular cancer survivor who won the lottery?

...when he found out, the guy went nut.

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A kiwi man was in Australia for the Bledisloe Cup when he began to experience testicular pain..

So he went to see an Australian doctor and get some tests done.

Dr: "Your results are back sir and unfortunately they are not good. We are going to have to remove your testicles".

Kiwi: "Awwww no way bru! I'm going to git a sicond opinion!"

So the kiwi finds another Aussie docto...

i got a A on my midterm, then got testicular torsion and a C on the final

there was a vas deferens in my ability to focus

When is a testicular tumor like a bingo ball?

when it's B-9

Men are more susceptible to the covid19 coronavirus

Men could be more susceptible to Covid-19 because testicular tissue generates proteins the virus likes to latch onto.

It's got you by the balls.

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A family of four sits down to dinner.

The son is fifteen years old and the daughter is thirteen. The mother is a school teacher and the father is an obstetrician. They say a quick prayer, and start eating.

The father starts telling his wife about an interesting new study he was reading about, suggesting a surprisingly strong corr...

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Always get a second opinion.

A guy started getting horrible migraines in his late teens. He went to the doctor who told him he has a rare testicular disorder that was restricting blood flow to his brain, resulting in the blinding headaches. Unfortunately, “the only way to be rid of them is to remove your testicles.”

“Who...

The testicular cancer society called me and said, “Did you get our email?” I said No.

They said, “Then you better check your junk.”

I had always thought becoming sterile through testicular trauma was the same as having a vasectomy

Turns out, there's a vas deferens

A wife asks her husband, "what's your opinion on vasectomies?"

He shrugs and says, "it's a mixed bag"



Edit - It has come to my attention that the title should say testicular torsion instead

They didn’t remove the right one.

Request: Little brother was just diagnosed with testicular cancer. Lefty is a goner, but as the older brother, I feel the obligation to have some good jokes ready to help him feel better. Unfortunately the title is as good as funny as I get, so please help a brother out. Thanks.
Edit he’s in his ...

Doctor: “Sir....”

Patient: “It's MA'AM. I identify as a female”

Doctor: “Okay Ma'am. You have testicular cancer.”

Last week a young boy saved a priests life in the United States...

... he discovered the priest had early stage testicular cancer...

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A man visits the doctor for a checkup.

"Your vitals look fine," he said. "But it looks like your sperm count is a bit low. Have you felt any changes in sexual desire or had difficulty in bed?"

"Now that you mention it, the last few times I've had an orgasm, I've felt like my entire testicle was being sucked through my dick!"
...

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A little girl lives next to a fire house...

She admires the fire fighters so much she makes her own firetruck. It consists of her wagon, with the team of her cat in front with a string tied to his testicles, and her dog which lacks the testicular string, however has a harness and reins for her to lead him with. The firefighters see it, and ha...

I was an exchange student in Chernobyl...

There were so many extra-testicular activities

What's it called when a man gets his crotch kicked.

Testicular Manslaughter.

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Curing Prostate Cancer

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey!" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he h...

I need two personal drivers because of my elephantitis.

I can't fit into a single car because of my testicular elephantitis.

The other driver is a great bloke but the other one drives me nuts.

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Doctors of reddit - who is that one patient you really wish you'd seen again?

It was actually during my junior year. A man, about 50, came in with walking difficulties - you could tell he was really struggling when he arrived at the surgery and even looked uncomfortable when he sat down. I was expecting a leg, hip or even back complaint but once the door was shut he admitted ...

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?"

To which the horse replies "I have testicular cancer".

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