How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It's a hardware problem.

Why do exterminators make for good programmers?

They're experts in debugging!

Why do good programmers never put circles into their games?

Because no one likes pointless features.

How programmers and cats are alike?

They both can sit in the same position for long time and get excited when they find a bug

Why do most programmers use dark mode?

Because the light attracts too many bugs

Whats at the end of every programmers suicide note?

“Goodbye World”

What do programmers do when they're hungry?

They grab a byte

Why do Python programmers have low self esteem?

They're constantly comparing their self to other.

Only programmers will get this one:

Why did the functions stop calling each other?

Ans: Because they had too many arguments.

Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?

Because they don’t C#

Why do programmers never go to sleep?

Because goto is evil.

Why do Assembly programmers have so much free time at school?

They can't have any classes.

What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?

They curry on.

What do programmers want from their bosses?


Why do programmers hang out together?

Because they are codependent

What do programmers wear?

Whatever is in the dress code.

What do you call a group of programmers?

An argument.

How many Boolean programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


What do programmers eat for breakfast?

Nothing much, just a byte.

A Programmer.

Why are Programmers single?

Because they treat women like an Object.

What language is most commonly used by programmers?


A Programmers son asks, why is the sky blue?

Programmer: It works, don't mess with it!

Why do programmers need glasses?

So they can see sharp.

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

Programmers hate roman numerals.

But I can't zero in on why

Why do blind programmers use Java?

Because they can't C.

(I'm so sorry.)

What do programmers say when they rob you

01001000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101110 01100101 01111001 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 01001001 11100010 10000000 10011001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 011...

Why can't Communists be programmers?

Because there is a hierarchy of classes, inheritance, and private properties

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