First time posting

“What did the ocean said to the other ocean”

“Nothing they just waved

You sea what i did there

Im shore you did

Rant: Please stop posting holocaust jokes. My great grandfather died in a concentration camp and it's very painful.

He fell off the guard tower.

Can we stop posting jokes about women’s menstruation, this category of humor is NOT FUNNY.

Period.

Whenever I receive a large number of resumes for a job posting, I seperate them into two piles...

Then I throw one of the piles in the garbage. I don't want to risk hiring someone unlucky.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, the 2nd rule about posting on Reddit is to 'behave like you would in real life'.

Funny; I've never before been *asked* to behave like a total asshole.

A Bat's story. (Posting it again)

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats...

What do you call it when a redditor tries to get karma without posting real content?

Cake day

In case anyone of you missed out on posting a joke about 4/20,

don't worry, today is 420 too.

I got banned from Instagram for posting food pictures

Apparently they only want to see the food "Before" you eat it, not "After"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the opposite of shit posting?

Piss lurking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My first time posting on /r/Jokes was like being a UPS driver.

Because I fucked up the delivery

Posting on r/Jokes is like dating in Alabama

Neither bring anything original to the table

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First time posting on this sub

A man comes home from the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired because he got his penis stuck in the pickle slicer.

“Oh my gosh are you okay!!” She says as she’s pulling down his pants to see if there’s anything wrong with it.

“I... don’t see anything wrong with with it. “Wha...

I’m posting telepathically today.

If you think it’s funny, that’s me.

My wife asked me what I'm posting on Reddit...

I tell her that they /r/jokes...

I would appreciate it if we stopped posting Holocaust Jokes. They're not funny, witty, or humorous. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust

He fell off the Guard Tower

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I didn't make this 4 years ago. This might not be the worst joke. I'm posting again for the ones who read the original by the original poster...this is my version to pay homage

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-known porn star, and the other is a lazy ass. Lazy ass doesn't have a job and just likes to sit around the house. One Sunday, the porn star is angry and thirsty. He decides to make the brother do something useful....

This hacker keeps posting on my reddit account

I will find you and I will stop you.

They stopped putting pictures of missing kids on milk cartons, and started posting them on r/jokes

They get much wider coverage. No one reposts more than r/jokes.

why is everyone posting about 9/11?

It's still 2 months away.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

My wife says I've been spending so much time posting on r/jokes, that she's leaving me!

I pleaded with her... tried to reason with her. I even got down on my knees and begged her not to go! I mean, where will I get all my material from now?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A newly anointed priest is given his first posting.

Father Ben a newly anointed priest is given his first posting of his career. He’s fairly young and very nervous, but seeing his distress, Father Todd the elderly priest he’s replacing was very thoughtful and had prepared some cheat sheets so everything would transition smoothly. Hidden behind the al...

Logan Paul shouldn’t go so long without posting a new video

He’s leaving his subscribers hanging.

My dog ran away,I made some flyers, and I need your help posting them.

No one reposts more than this sub

Everyone is posting one legged Halloween costumes

and I can't stand it

I saw a job posting for an Astronomer and it sounded pretty stress free.

I’d just do a bunch of light reading all day.

Everyone keeps posting about Mayweather

But I'm 99% sure its August.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've decided to stop posting sexist jokes....

Because women find them too complicated.

Posting a joke on a Reddit is like going in a bar.

Sometimes you get lucky, but most of the time you just lose your self esteem

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Posting a Joke on reddit is like going to a bar...

You see the same shit repeated every week, but you can't stop from yourself from going there.

I tried posting about UNITED AIRLINES in a sub-reddit. The post was removed.

The sub-reddit was "Uplifting News".

I was considering posting a joke that nobody had heard of, but I realized that it is actually pretty likely that...

...you already have reddit.

Hey what's easier than posting to r/personalfinance?

Getting laid.

What's the difference between a monkey flinging poo at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?

Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.

I prefer posting memes over jokes

They just meme more to me




Im so sorry this was terrible

To the people who will be posting 9/11 jokes this month:

Please don't do it. Making jokes about 9/11 is just **plane** wrong.
~~dontkillmeforthis~~

What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

Guy needed for joke to work: Name a country in Asia

Neckbeard: M’laysia

P.S
I’m sorry for posting this but it’s just the worst joke I’ve ever been able to think up on my own and I’m sort of proud.

Since we're posting dirty limericks now.....

There once was a man from St. Lou

Who gave his dear sister a screw.

He said with aplomb:

"You're better than Mom."

Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."

-----

Told to me by /u/hasseth

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