Post Office Jokes - 67 Hilarious Post Office Jokes

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There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail with illegible addresses…

One day, a letter came addressed in shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

“Dear God,

I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which...

Today I went to the post office to mail 20 letters... so I bought 20 stamps...

and the clerk just handed them to me. So I said "Am I supposed to stick all these on myself?"...and she said "No. Stick them on the envelopes.."

An elephant went to the post office to get a PO Box.

The clerk was happy to address the elephant in the room.

Never get stuck behind the devil in a Post Office queue

For the devil can take many forms

A dog goes into a post office to send a telegram...

The clerk gives him the relevant form and he goes to the desk to fill it in.

When he has finished he hands it back to the clerk with the fee and the clerk reads it through.

The message reads ” Woof woof, woof woof woof; woof woof, woof woof woof.”

The clerk then tells the dog th...

Did you know if you rearrange the letters in "THE POST OFFICE"

Nobody gets their mail.

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Job at the post office

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Vietnam for three years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?

...

A marine biologist walks into the post office

A marine biologist walks into the post office and says he needs to send a large tank overnight. The postal worker asks for the dimensions of the tank and when the biologist gives them to him the postal worker says, "We can't send a tank that big overnight. It'll have to go by freight train."

...

What does it mean when the flag at the local Post Office is at half mast?

They're hiring.

Why don't women work at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.

Have you heard about the dyslexic spy who got caught with a suitcase nuke in the post office?

Fission mailed!

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Post office joke

A post office received a letter from a little boy named Billy addressed to Santa Claus. They look at each other and, not knowing what to do with this, decide to read it out loud and have some fun. The letter goes something like this: “Dear Santa, our dad left us recently, my mom lost her job, so now...

This Goat walks into a post office

And says to the Postmaster "I need to send a telegram."
The Postmaster says "OK, what is it?"
The Goat says "I need it to say, maa maa maa maa maa maa maa." The Postmaster counts the words and says "Well, for the same price, I can put 4 more "MAAs" in for you."
The Goat looks at him and say...

My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

At the post office....

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better ...

I just got fired from the post office

My supervisor took me into his office and we actually had a really good conversation. He told me that I wasn't meeting expectations in my current position, and that they didn't have any other jobs open at the moment. I said that I could see where he was coming from, and that I had no hard feelings. ...

Why will the U.S. Post Office never issue a Donald Trump stamp?

Because 60 percent of Americans would spit on the front side, and 40 percent would lick the back side.

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I wrote a joke about how crappy the post office is and mailed it to my dad.

He didn't get it.

I was in the Post Office queue yesterday when Diana Ross tried to push in.

I said “You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...”

It was my birthday yesterday, and I received $500 from all the cards I opened.

I really love working in a post office.

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand.

The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can't even hold a pen."

"Certainly sir," said the younger man, "I'd be glad to."
He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the...

A lady arrives at a post office...

...and asks the postman:

"Hi, can I call my mom? I'm out of cash and I need to talk to her urgently".

The postman says "No money, no phone call, miss".

"I will do everything you want, please I really need to call my mother!" - the lady proceeds.

"Music to my ears" - the p...

So I got a phone call from the post office today...

...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".

I busted a nut at the local post office

I guess you could say something came in the mail today

I was at the Post Office....

When I saw a blonde woman shouting into an envelope.

I asked, "what are you doing ??"

The blonde replied, "Sending a voice mail"....

The Post Office slowdown has made America's human trafficking situation even worse.

I've read that farmers are receiving hundreds of dead chicks in the mail.

Did you know, the Post Office considered delivering post by Missle?

Really puts the term 'letter bomb' in a whole new light.

Everyone talks about the post office

But nobody ever talks about the pre office.

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I began work at the Post Office recently

I found the work very mundane, so to the pass the time I would open letters that came through, read the letters, and pass them on to the correct delivery driver. After a while I began to notice something odd. Some letters would come in, with the exact same envelope, exact same address and the lette...

Why did the doctor call the post office?

He needed help delivering a baby

The post office hired me to find innovative ways to mail things.

My job is pushing the envelope.

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I was fired today from my job in the post office, I have no idea why.

Oh shit, I meant to post this somewhere else

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Directions to the Post Office

A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies
room of the gas station.

As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked, "Sonny, can
you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blo...

I think Harry Potter would fit in well working at the post office...

Apparently he's got the rare gift of being able to speak Parceltongue.

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What was post office worker's sexuality

She was attracted to mails

I can't believe how stupid that bloke in the Post Office was....

He said that my Parcel was too heavy and that I needed to put more stamps on it like that's going to make it lighter.

A guy retires and moves to the country

After decades of working in a Post Office a guy decides to retire and move to the outback, where his nearest neighbour lives a kilometre away from him. One weekend, this neighbour visits the guy and invite them to his house for a party that evening.

“but I gotta warn you” says the neighbour “...

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It’s a post office workers last day delivering mail.

At each of the houses he gets a little present.

At one house, a lady opens the door only wearing a garter belt and stockings.

She gives the mailman a long kiss, walks him upstairs and gives him a ride to remember.

Afterwards, she makes home a nice lunch and gives him a dollar bi...

I was in a line at my local post office this morning when

two masked men entered.

TOTAL PANIC.

Then they said...this is a robbery.

We all calmed down

Why don't you put a post office next to a liberal arts college?

They'll always argue over the male agenda.

A woman goes to the post office for stamps for Hanukkah cards.

She asks the cashier for stamps and the cashier replies, “What denomination?” The woman thinks for a moment and responds, “I’ll take six Orthodox, twelve Conservative, and thirty-two Reform, please.”

What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

As a young sailor we were sitting around talking about what our parents do for a living one guy exclaimed, “My Dad works for the post office but my Moms a Hydroceramic Engineer”, we all oohed and aahed…

“She’s a dishwasher”

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There is a road nearby called Berlin Street.

True story, and not quite a joke, but this just happened. All I can say is our daughter pays a lot of attention to things. Anyway, I needed to drop off a letter, and asked my wife, "Isn't the post office on Berlin Street?"

"Yes, but I think I heard it's actually pronounced BERL-in, not ber-LI...

A dog goes into the post office to send a telegram

A dog goes into the post office to send a telegram. The guy behind the counter asks him,

"What do you want it to say?"

"WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF"

The telegram guy says,

"I see you only have 9 woofs there. If you didn't know, anything up to 10 words i...

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Post office workers are going through the mail and find a letter addressed simply To Santa

Since they've nowhere to send it to, they open the letter and find the most tragic childish scribbling:

"Dear Santa,
My name is Timmy and I live in an orphanage. I have no mom or dad. We have barely any heating and it gets very cold. I know you are very busy, but could you please send me a...

A man walks into a post office with a yellow envelope and a dollar

He then posts the letter to an address and leaves
After a week the same man walks in with the same letter and posted it again.
Same thing repeats for months, the man used to come every week.
Out of curiosity one of the workers at the post office asked the man, "why do you come every week an...

I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".

What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.

What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it?

Post office

What do you call a privileged post office?

Cis White Mail

I wanted to throw a party for my cake day, so I sent an invitation to every redditor on r/jokes. However, the post office lost all my invitations.

I didn't repost, so no one got my joke.

Odd how you can only send mail during the day.

They are called post office hours, after all.

Two 81 year old women travelled the world

Two 81 year old women travelled the world in 80 days after the post office lost their ashes.

The mail pilot

A man applied for a job delivering mail to remote areas by plane. The human resources officer showed him the employment contract.

He said, "you need to be aware that the U.S. Post Office has a tradition of delivering the mail no matter what, even in bad weather. So that means you will...

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A Letter To Jesus

Some workers at the post office are sorting through the mail when they see a letter addressed to Jesus Christ. Baffled, they decide to open the letter, which reads as follows:

"Dear Jesus, I'm writing because I'm in a bind and I don't know where else to turn. I've talked to all of my so-call...

An old lady asks God for help.

In the highlands of Scotland lives an elderly lady in a house outside a small village. A harsh winter is coming and the lady is very worried she can’t pay the gas bill that winter. With no family left, she turns to God and she decides to write him a letter.

“Dear God,
In your endless merc...

My Daughter In Law

She’s a manager at a post office. I threw her a party for getting promoted in a mail dominated industry.

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The little builder

A cute golden-haired pre-schooler notices that they are building a house next door, and she starts hanging around the site and asking the builders about everything they are doing. They think she's adorable, so they find her a little hard hat and hi-vis, and they set her up in a corner of the yard wi...

Air Postal Service

A man sets down three pieces of luggage at a very famous **International Airlines** (*that shall not be named*) check-in counter and says, "I want the brown bag to go to London, the black one to go to Paris," he said. "And keep the third bag here till my return from Australia next week for pick up."...

How do you call a female thai post officer.

Mai Ling

The preacher asked the small boy to show him the way to the post office and the boy courteously obliged

"Thank you", the preacher said. "You are a bright and polite young man. How would you like to listen to my sermon this evening so that I may show you the way to Heaven?"

"You're going to show me the way to Heaven?" the boy said in astonishment."But you don't even know the way to the post offi...

Stamps

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What denomination?” asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well, give me 50 Catholic and 50 Baptist ones.”

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Letter to God

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't recei...

I was feeling a little naughty, so I decided to run as fast as I could to my mailbox and grab the mail while naked

A mile in to my jog to the post office, the police stopped me.

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So the police have a new slogan.

So the police in my area have a new slogan that they altered from the post office. Rain nor shine nor sleet or hail will keep your ass out of jail.

I used to open so many cards on Valentines Day.

Eventually the post office fired me for it.

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