There were 3 aliens that just moved to Earth. None of them knew any English. One day they decided to take up different activities to learn the language. One alien took a singing class and learned "me, me ,me ,meeee!" The second alien took a cooking class and learned "Forks and knives, Forks an...
I renamed my iPod The Titanic
When I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing".
An alien comes to earth and tries to learn English by repeating everything it hears.
The alien walks by an opera and hears someone sing "Me me me me me me me", so the alien repeats "Me me me me me me me"
Next the alien walks by a restaurant and hears people shouting "Forks and knives! forks and knives!", so the alien repeats "Forks and knives! Forks and knives!"
Then ...
I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday...
But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.
A Chinese Man who knew no English wanted to visit America,
so he bought a ticket and flew over. The first place he saw was a candy store. He heard a child screaming, "HE STOLE MY LOLLIPOP," then the Chinese man nodded and left. The next place he visited was a restaurant, where he saw a couple children banging forks and knives on the table and yelling,...
How do you know when your hooker is dead?
When you plug it in and she doesn't charge.
Engineers gonna engineer
A scientist, a mathematician, and an engineer end up stranded on a small island inhabited by some very reclusive locals. They find themselves in jail the next day for breaking some obscure law that nobody can really explain.
They're sentenced to death. Not that their "crime" was all that sev...
So there was this alien who came down to earth
An alien came down to earth and wanted to know how to act. He first stopped by a recording studio, where he heard someone singing “me me ME me me me...” The alien then repeated, sing slightly off-key “me me ME me me me...” The next place he went to was a fast food place, where he heard the cas...
I was telling 'dumb blonde' jokes in a bar.
Suddenly a muscular blonde-haired man ran right at me with a sharp razor and screamed "I've had just about enough of you!" Luckily for me, I was left completely unharmed, as he couldn't find a place to plug it in.
Did you know they were making dual-sided USB?
Now it'll only take **6** tries to plug it in.
A guy spots a nice TV in a yard sale and stops by to take a closer look..
He doesn't see a price tag. "That's a nice TV!! How much are you asking for it?" he asks.
Owner replies, "Yes, this is an excellent television and it is all yours for just $1!"
Confused, the guy inquires, "One dollar?! Does it even work? What is wrong with it?"
The owner reassu...
Trolley conductor
There is a town, in this town there is a massive trolley business. They have the best trolleys and they make the most money. They make their money by not paying people very much, people like George.
George was a trolley conductor for many years and he lived paycheck to paycheck. Part of his j...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
LAWS FOR ENGINEERS
Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...
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