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Parasites Jokes

Andrew Tate says his Romanian jail is infested with lice. "Can you imagine sharing a cell with vile parasites?"

Say the lice.

"Welcome to the 41st Annual meeting of the Ohio Parasites Club"

"I'm Andrew Smith, and I'll be your host for the day"

Girls hate it when I suddenly send them photographs of parasites

Turns out, no one wants unsolicited tick pics

I love studying blood-sucking parasites…

Really get into the nitty gritty of things and find out what makes them tick.

I used to hate parasites.

Then they started to grow on me.

What’s the collective noun for a group of bloodsucking parasites?

A Senate.

What is the definition of politics?

Poly meaning many.

And ticks meaning blood sucking parasites.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pierre Dumonte Wiffade was a French explorer and biologist....

Pierre Dumonte Wiffade was a French explorer and biologist who was, in 1792, considered one of the country’s chief ornithologists. Credited with discovering and describing over 200 different bird species, he spent most of his life hopping from island to island, describing the wildlife, and moving to...

TIL: Where does the word "politics" come from.

From poly, Greek for many, and tics, English for pesky parasites.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I first became an Ancap.....

>When I first became an Ancap, I was just an unemployed high schooler who had never worked a labor job in his entire life. I had that whole "welfare recipients are parasites, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, forcing people to subsidize your shitty life choices is morally wrong, nobody is...

TIL where the word 'politics' comes from

'Poly' is from the Greek meaning *many*, and 'tick' is from *a bunch of blood sucking parasites*

What do lawyers and mosquitoes have in common?

They're both blood sucking parasites.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The elbow

A man is complaining to his friend: "My elbow really hurts. I think I need to see a doctor." His friend answers: "Dude, this is 2012, in the supermarket they have a new computer that can diagnose much faster and cheaper. Just place a urine sample in the machine and it says what's wrong, and that onl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Dollar Store Machine

A man is shopping at the local Dollar store when he finds a new futuristic looking machine near the store's entrance. He asks the store employee what it was.

"This amazing machine will diagnose any ailments you might have from your spit. It costs only $1 to use."

Curious the man gives ...

I always thought the origin of the word "politics" was a strangely accurate description of itself.

"Poli-" meaning "many",

"-tics" meaning "bloodsucking parasites."

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