UPJOKE
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Orca Jokes

How do whales prepare for a party?

They orca-nise it.

What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

What do you call a group of singing dolphins?

An orca-stra.

Orcas don’t belong in tanks

You need to teach them how to drive one responsibly first.

What's it called when one fishes for orca?

A podcast

A lonely orca is swimming in the arctic

Normally he doesn't venture this far north, but he figures there's nothing wrong with a longer swim into the frigid waters.

All of sudden he spots the most beautiful girl orca he's ever seen. Too long our poor protagonist has let opportunities pass him by, but not this time. So he gathers his...

What do you get when you cross an orca with a housecat?

An angry ethics committee and your grant revoked.

How can you tell when there’s an orca under your bed?

The ceiling is a lot closer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girlfriend and boyfriend orca see a whaling vessel.

The male whale recognised the vessel as the vessel that killed his father, so he asks his girlfriend, “Will you help me take down this vessel? This one killed my dad.” She is more than happy to help out her boyfriend.

The boyfriend’s plan is to swim under the vessel and use their blow holes t...

What did the gang of dolphins say to the orca?

"Whale, whale, whale... Look what the tide brought in..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once stole a jar of orca semen from my friend, the scientist. After a few years, I felt bad, and eventually returned it. My friend was obviously confused by this and said "Thanks, but what is it?" I replied...

"Your whale cum."

I, an Orca, tried to warn my brother countless times.

He just had to eat that family of dolphins in shallow water.


Well, the idiot beached himself.


If I told him once I told him a thousand times.


“Don’t eat Tide Pods.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw this movie about an orca and a kid.

It was like willy willy touching.

There was a baby orca that had washed onto land after a huge tidal wave.

When the water receded, the orca found himself out of the water on the beach. A young man happened along and saw the orca struggling along. He always wanted a pet, so he scooped him up in a wagon and took him home; depositing him into his family's well.


This strange upbringing made the b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My music teacher constructed a piece for heterosexual killer whales.

That's something I wouldn't know how to orca straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Antman receives a call from a Marine Biologist at Seaworld...

A marine biologist working with Seaworld calls Antman to help him with one of his juvenile Orcas. He tells him that due to the orca's sexual maturity fast approaching, he needs to perform a vasectomy to prevent him from getting to aggressive with the females.

Antman agrees, shrinks down, and...

Have you met my Spanish killer whale?

Mallorca?

I got caught stealing a killer whale made of mahogany.

That's orca wood.

Why did the killer whale go to jail for stealing all the diamonds?

He’s the one that orca-strated the heist!

The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.

It was very carefully orca-strated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is black and white and red all over?

An Orca on a Japanese whaling ship.

Two men have been selected for an expedition to the North Pole

Their names are George Bernard and William Briggs. On this journey they’ve been given a state of the art ship to cross through iceberg laden waters unscathed and plenty of supplies for the trip. On the 20th of December George and William set off on their expedition. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to the...

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