A guard abandoned his post due to overwhelming fear

He was called by his supervisor.

"Stand your ground, guard damn it!"

It's disgraceful that in 2020 the train-driving profession is overwhelmingly male-dominated. Surely it's...

a woman's right to choo-choos.

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Dr. Mike had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Mike, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of your patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just le...

A cactus walks into a bar

The cactus sits down and orders a tequila neat and proceeds to have 4 or 5 in a row. The cactus is pretty chill, handling his own until he sees a young couple at the end of the bar getting pretty hot and heavy. The young lady goes to the bathroom and the cactus calls over the young man and buys him...

A hetero couple posted to r/twoXchromosomes to settle a dispute. One spouse had given their child a bike riding lesson but left the bike in the driveway. The other then backed their car over the bike. Who was at fault—the spouse who left the bike there or the spouse who didn’t check behind them?

The subreddit overwhelming responded: The husband.

It was an overwhelming experience when I touched my inner self.

Anyway, I only use 4-ply toilet paper since then.

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A guy is driving down the highway when he suddenly has an overwhelming urge to jerk off...

But there are so many cars and trucks driving by, he's too scared to be seen if he does it in the vehicle. So he gets out of the truck and crawls underneath. He figures if anyone comes along, he'll just say he's checking on his transmission. He pulls out his dick, closes his eyes, pictures Betty-Sue...

I asked 25 Pac-people what their favorite pan is and the results were overwhelming...

1) A wok

2) A wok

3) A wok

4) A wok

5) A wok

6) A wok

7) A wok

8) A wok

9) A wok

10) A wok

11) A wok

12) A wok

13) A wok

14) A wok

15) A wok

16) A wok

17) A wok

18) A wok

19)...

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Having sex with 6 women sounds overwhelming.

Dozen tit?

Due to the overwhelming backlash, I'm forced to cancel my planned medieval instrument packaging simulator.

Players just don't want lute boxes.

A new study found that an overwhelming majority of architects are seeing psychiatrists

Most being diagnosed with an edifice complex.

House-hunting in Texas is overwhelming...

The market is flooded.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.

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After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.



When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"



The mysterious Man answered "This isn...

The devoted wife

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came out of coma, he motioned for her to come closer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? Y...

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A Four-year-old boy and his dad sit at the kitchen table.

It's Sunday morning and mom just made breakfast. On the table is french toast covered in butter and doused with their favorite maple syrup. There are four slices of bacon on each plate and an overwhelming amount of scrambled eggs. A tall glass of orange juice demands their attention. The boy and his...

My friend just sent me a phenomenal joke and I’m mad at her for being funnier than I am. Suffer with me.

Two guys are walking through the debris of a terrible accident. There are decaying bodies all around. The air is heavy and foreboding. The stench is putrid.

One of them starts having a coughing fit because the smell is so overwhelming. The other guy goes, “hey are you alright? What’s with al...

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I got thrown out of math class today.

The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"

Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...


EDIT: Holy, this blew up fast. Kind of like when the teacher gives me $20, but less sticky, ...

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"Oh, no!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him.

Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 12-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene.

...

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A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory.

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory as a pickle packer and he excitedly goes home to tell his wife the good news.

"Try not to get fired, we really need this job" she tells him.

The first day on the job he comes home and she asks, "How was work today?"

He replies "I lo...

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A doctor has sex with one of his patients

He feels guilty all day and no matter how hard he tries he just cant get it out of his mind. This feeling of guilt and sense of betrayal was so overwhelming that he couldn't even go to sleep.

Finally he heard a reassuring voice inside his own head. It told him "Don't worry about it. These th...

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[NSFW] Jazz bar announces a competition for the vacancy of a pianist

Blues bar announces a competition for the vacancy of a pianist.

Lots of musicians come, including an old man in a really shabby suit. People start playing, and all of them kinda "meh". Then it's the old man's turn to play. He goes up the stage and announces:

\- Now I'm gonna play my s...

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The biggest issue with being the child of a Japanese dad and a Mom from Hawaii...

Is that every year around this day, you feel the overwhelming need to attack yourself.

First Time at the Barber

I had never been to an actual barber before yesterday, I've grown my hair and beard out for the past several years for a few reasons, but mostly because up until a couple weeks ago I've been too poor to afford regular haircuts. I string enough jobs together working out of a labor pool to get by,...

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A man walks into the doctor's with an awful rash on his penis

The doctor asks if the man had been overseas recently, to which the answer was yes (he had just returned from a holiday in Asia).

The Doctor says "I'm sorry to tell you that you have Hong Kong Dong and your penis needs to be removed."

The man was shocked and extremely upset.
He left...

Captain Smith is an officer of the Union army.

One day, his unit gets overran by an overwhelming ambush by the Confederate army. He is captured and taken to a Confederate garrison where he is brought up to General Jones. To his surprise, he is greeted warmly and served a sumptuous lunch and aged bourbon by his captors.

"I'm sorry, Captain...

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NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...

A bible salesman won top sales award

But people are confused because he is famously known for being so timid that when he speaks, he stutters. So when the award was announced and the salesman is invited to the stage, everybody wants to hear what this man says.

After handshaking the announcer, the man hesitantly approach the micr...

Last minute survey

They surveyed people about what's more tolerable in an elevator. A fart or a cough. By overwhelming majority the fart is winning 95% to 4%. The last 1% are afraid of elevators.

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Once upon a time, lived a noble king...

He had a son, which grew up and became a handsome prince.
One day, the king decided to find a suitable bride for his boy. He ordered his subjects to prepare a magnificent
feast and to invite princesses from all over the world.

More than 150 princesses attended the feast. The number was ...

After months of detective work, police have uncovered the bodies of a number of missing persons...

These bodies which number in the dozens, were buried in the backyard of a suspected mass murderer. Upon investigation, the police found a series of mass graves. These holes had been dug up by the alleged killer, and contained dismembered body parts, including torsos, extremities, and decapitated hea...

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NSFW wife in a coma

A man and his wife are driving down a country lane when a deer runs in front of them, causing them to swerve and hit a tree. The husband is unharmed in the incident but the woman unfortunately hits her head and enters a coma.


Months roll by and the woman still remains coma stricken, with ...

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Pickle slicer

Joe worked in a pickle factory. He would go in every day with an overwhelming desire to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. The desire was so overwhelming and embarrassing that he sought professional help.
For a year, the therapist talked with him, tried to redirect his thinking, but nothin...

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

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