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Help my boy laugh through his urology appointment!

I need every (non-sexual) ball and dick joke you can think of. My 8-year-old is at a urology appointment and is nervous. I’m lightening the mood.

Stuff like “what’s the difference between a snow man and snow woman? Snow balls”

Thanks in advance!

Hello, you have reached the urology department.

Please hold.

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Man at urology

Doctor: Hello, first time at our urology clinic ?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: And do you masturbate often ?

Patient: Uhm, its not bad for me now is it ?

Doctor: Well, You'll have to stop.

Patient: Why is that ?

Doctor: Because I can't check you otherwise...

What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student?

"Ur-ine!"

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Lasik Eye Surgery

A few years ago, I finally decided to get Lasik Eye Surgery. I had been going to the same eye doctor for a few years, and she told me I was a good candidate for it. She tells me I need to get a topography test which couldn't be done at her office. Instead, she sent me to the Eye Center at a local...

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Overheard in a hospital..

Nurse: 'Sir, I've had word from the proctology department that they're just about done with your shit. You need to drop by in a week so they can give you the results'

Patient: 'A week!? Are they taking the piss?'

Nurse: 'No sir, that would be urology. They should be calling you tomorro...

Stopping the leaks

A urologist in London had a leak in his bathroom on a Sunday. He called a plumber who charged him a £50 call out fee plus another £100 for fixing the problem in 15 minutes.
The urologist was shocked and said to the plumber - I am a Urologist and I fix human water works and I don't get paid this ...

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What do you call a society governed by men with no testicles?

An anorchy...

...I swear, that one KILLED at the urology convention

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