What did Optimus Prime say when Bumblebee said "Nice shoes!"

Thanks, they're Vans.

It is a crime to tell a joke to Optimus Prime.

You might be charged with Vehicular Man’s Laughter.

Why is Optimus Prime worthless?

The derivative at the maximum = 0

Optimus Prime, in full on robot battle, wondering how the decepticons keep figuring out his next moves before he makes them

only to look down and see that his blinker was on the entire time.

Why does Optimus Prime lead orchestras in his free time?

Because he is a semiconductor

My 6 year old is coming up with dad jokes: What do you call Optimus Prime if he gets a tick?

Optimis-tick

I went on a spirit journey, and learned my ancestral guide is Optimus Prime.

It was an Autobot-y experience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Optimus Prime say when it is time to leave the orgy?

"Autobots, PULL OUT!"

If Optimus Prime were to write a memoir about his life, it would be an

autobotography

Optimus Prime: Autobots, roll out!

Pessimus Prime: Why? We’ll just lose...

What's the name of Optimus Prime's brother who lives in South American jungle?

Amazon Prime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Optimus Prime has had a sexy change and is now a Combine Harvester

He’s a Trans-Farmer

Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are in first day of kindergarten.

Optimus (in his deep voice) : Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. What's your name?

Teacher : Be silent!!!!!

Bumblebee : umleee

What do you call a Transformer that turns into a stroller?

Optimus Pram.

What's the square root of optimus prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

What numbers are in the number plate of optimus prime?

Prime numbers. A'right a'right I'll see my way out.

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 


Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 


Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

What is a frisky Optimus Prime called?

An autothot.

MacGyver, Optimus Prime, Jesus and I went to a bar...

MacGyver started talking about how he can make a phone out of pretty much any items laying around in the bar. Optimus Prime just had to one-up and said he could actually transform himself into a phone. We all looked at Jesus. Jesus was all smuck and told us he could take any phone and use it to call...

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.

That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK.

He was Optimus Tick

What do you call a Transformer that engages in illegal activities?

Optimus *Crime*.

What transformer loves to paint?

Optimus Primer

Why did the paint job in the Autobots home base look so nice?

Because Optimus Primed!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Autobots had just landed on our green planet.

Optimus tells them to go look for disguises that are suitable so that they can all adequately blend into their new home. Two hours pass and the Autobots reconvene.

Mr Prime: Do you all have suitable disguises?

Company: Yes, Mr Prime.

Mr Prime: Well then, let's see it.

The...

A joke from Macrobius' "Saturnalia", ca. 5th century

Hereupon Evangelus said: 'Servilius Geminus happened to be dining at the home of Lucius Mallius, then considered the best painter in Rome, when he saw Mallius' two ugly sons: "You don't make children," he said, "the way you make pictures." "That," said Mallius, "is because I make children in the dar...

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