Optimus Jokes - 28 Hilarious Optimus Jokes

What did Optimus Prime say when he came back from Ikea?

Autobots, assemble!

(edit : a big ♥ to all the kind people who made this silly post live despite the fact I mix up Autobots and Avengers. Long live the Autovengers!)

What kind of shoes does Optimus Prime wear?

Truck Taylors

Optimus Prime is at home, watching TV, when his power goes out.

Frustrated, he calls the electrical company, and they have someone sent over. As he goes to ask the lineman what's going on, he notices that his jaw won't move, so he goes to get some motor oil to lubricate his jaws.

10 minutes later, he arrives back at his house, his mouth full of motor oil....

I told a joke to Optimus Prime at Universal the other day, and I was arrested.

Apparently they frown upon
Vehicular man’s laughter.

What did Optimus Prime do when his dishwasher blew a transformer?

He filed for divorce.

Why is Optimus Prime worthless?

The derivative at the maximum = 0

What did Optimus Prime say when Bumblebee said "Nice shoes!"

Thanks, they're Vans.

Optimus Prime: Autobots, roll out!

Pessimus Prime: Why? We’ll just lose...

Why does Optimus Prime lead orchestras in his free time?

Because he is a semiconductor

I went on a spirit journey, and learned my ancestral guide is Optimus Prime.

It was an Autobot-y experience.

What did Optimus Prime say after hauling his new Ikea coffee table into the house?

Autobots assemble!

(Writing credit to u/Apollonius_Cone)

What's the square root of optimus prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are in first day of kindergarten.

Optimus (in his deep voice) : Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. What's your name?

Teacher : Be silent!!!!!

Bumblebee : umleee

What is a frisky Optimus Prime called?

An autothot.

What do you get when you differentiate Optimus?

The leader of the Autobots!

What's the name of Optimus Prime's brother who lives in South American jungle?

Amazon Prime.

If Optimus Prime were to write a memoir about his life, it would be an

autobotography

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Optimus Prime has had a sexy change and is now a Combine Harvester

He’s a Trans-Farmer

My 6 year old is coming up with dad jokes: What do you call Optimus Prime if he gets a tick?

Optimis-tick

What numbers are in the number plate of optimus prime?

Prime numbers. A'right a'right I'll see my way out.

MacGyver, Optimus Prime, Jesus and I went to a bar...

MacGyver started talking about how he can make a phone out of pretty much any items laying around in the bar. Optimus Prime just had to one-up and said he could actually transform himself into a phone. We all looked at Jesus. Jesus was all smuck and told us he could take any phone and use it to call...

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 

Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 

Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

Police responded to a reported burglary at Tesla’s robotics lab.

It was an Optimus crime.

What do you call a Transformer that engages in illegal activities?

Optimus *Crime*.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris once pissed in a semi truck

From that day forward that truck was known as optimus prime

I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK.

He was Optimus Tick

What transformer loves to paint?

Optimus Primer

Why did the paint job in the Autobots home base look so nice?

Because Optimus Primed!

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