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Optimus Prime Jokes

What's the name of Optimus Prime's brother who lives in South American jungle?

Amazon Prime.

What did Optimus Prime say when he came back from Ikea?

Autobots, assemble!


(edit : a big ♥ to all the kind people who made this silly post live despite the fact I mix up Autobots and Avengers. Long live the Autovengers!)

What kind of shoes does Optimus Prime wear?

Truck Taylors

What did Optimus Prime say when Bumblebee said "Nice shoes!"

Thanks, they're Vans.

Optimus Prime is at home, watching TV, when his power goes out.

Frustrated, he calls the electrical company, and they have someone sent over. As he goes to ask the lineman what's going on, he notices that his jaw won't move, so he goes to get some motor oil to lubricate his jaws.

10 minutes later, he arrives back at his house, his mouth full of motor oil....

I told a joke to Optimus Prime at Universal the other day, and I was arrested.

Apparently they frown upon
Vehicular man’s laughter.

What did Optimus Prime do when his dishwasher blew a transformer?

He filed for divorce.

Why is Optimus Prime worthless?

The derivative at the maximum = 0

Optimus Prime: Autobots, roll out!

Pessimus Prime: Why? We’ll just lose...

Why does Optimus Prime lead orchestras in his free time?

Because he is a semiconductor

I went on a spirit journey, and learned my ancestral guide is Optimus Prime.

It was an Autobot-y experience.

Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are in first day of kindergarten.

Optimus (in his deep voice) : Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. What's your name?

Teacher : Be silent!!!!!

Bumblebee : umleee

My 6 year old is coming up with dad jokes: What do you call Optimus Prime if he gets a tick?

Optimis-tick

What's the square root of optimus prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

If Optimus Prime were to write a memoir about his life, it would be an

autobotography

What numbers are in the number plate of optimus prime?

Prime numbers. A'right a'right I'll see my way out.

What is a frisky Optimus Prime called?

An autothot.

MacGyver, Optimus Prime, Jesus and I went to a bar...

MacGyver started talking about how he can make a phone out of pretty much any items laying around in the bar. Optimus Prime just had to one-up and said he could actually transform himself into a phone. We all looked at Jesus. Jesus was all smuck and told us he could take any phone and use it to call...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Optimus Prime has had a sexy change and is now a Combine Harvester

He’s a Trans-Farmer

What does Optimus Prime say when he wants a symphonic band?

"Autobots, ensemble!"

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.

That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 


Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 


Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

Why did the paint job in the Autobots home base look so nice?

Because Optimus Primed!

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