UPJOKE
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Ozzy Jokes

The fact Ozzy has COVID now just shows bats always get their revenge.

(All the best to them, hope he gets to live a long time)

Doctors need to test Ozzy Osbourne's blood to find the most effective vaccine for COVID...

...He has been eating bats since the 80's and he is still alive.

What kind of shampoo did Ozzy Osbourne get his kids?

No More Tears

Where did Ozzy's Crazy Train get its power?

*Loco*motion

There was this guy living in Ireland who wanted to have the operation to become Irish

He had lived in Ireland for about 10 years and loved the place and its people so he went to the doctor and said he wanted to have the operation to become Irish.

The doctor warned him saying “This is very dangerous, I have to remove half your brain”.

The guy was very adamant and said ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Liberace arrives at the Pearly Gates

St. Peter says, "I think we might have a problem here. Our records indicate that you once bit the head off a live parakeet at one of your concerts."

Liberace responds, "No, that would have been Ozzy Osbourne. Now I might have had a cockatoo ..."

Who are you going to call when you have a bat problem

Ozzy Osborne

Wow. Those Spaniards are some die hard Ozzy fans..

..cause they really went off the rails on a crazy train.

I am extremely offended by the song "God is Dead" by Black Sabbath. How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

...when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

What do you call a skydiving metalhead?

Ozzy Airborne

Topical Jokes (5/20)

Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.

Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...

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