What weighs less, an empty regular size bic or a full small bic?

See, you’d think it’s the empty regular sized one, but the small one is a little lighter

What's the difference between a 1972 chevelle and a bic mini?

Well one is a heavy chevy and the other is a little lighter.

Two guys were on a golf course playing a couple rounds when one turns to the other and says "Hey man, do you have a lighter?" the other guy opens up a compartment on his golf bag and says "Yeah, here you go." and hands the first guy this giant lighter.

The first guy says "Man that's a huge lighter, where'd you get this?" the other guy says "Oh, well, there's this genie lamp I found, rubbed it, genie came out, and said he'd grant me one wish." The first guy says "Wow, that's crazy, do you still have the lamp?" The other guy opens up another compart...

Whenever I feel fat, I go into the store and buy a Mini Bic.

Each time, I get a little lighter.

10 Inch Bic

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter
He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long cigarette lighter
Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man...

I'm disappointed BIC company doesn't make gardening equipment

Who wouldn't want to have a Dig Bic Plow

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What’s the difference between a lousy trashy stand up comedian and a father telling jokes about stationery?

One is bad at telling dick jokes.
The other is dad at telling Bic jokes.

Which weighs more, a Bic or a match?

The Bic; it's a little lighter.

A magician is traveling through Europe performing his flashy new fountain-pen act

He sells out shows in Paris, London, Berlin, Prague, and Amsterdam. People begin calling him "Bic Jesus"

Everywhere he went, crowds would gather to see him perform his Montblanc mastery. Men wanted to be him, and women wanted to be with him.

This all changed one fateful spring day. The...

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A man and a woman are getting intimate for the first time

(NSFW) after some fooling around she pulls down his pants. To her surprise he is fully erect but only 3 inches long. She says to him "when we first met you said you had a big dick" "No..." he says as he reaches into his pocket. He takes a lighter out and puts it next to his penis. "I said I had a BI...

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A man and his friend are hanging out one day...

One of the men pulls out a cigarette, he asks his buddy for a light.




His buddy pulls out a massive lighter from his pants.





"Holy shit, where did you get that huge lighter?" asks the first man.



The second man replies "I got it from my wish gr...

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A group of guys were playing a round of golf..

After 9 holes they stopped to have a cigar. So one of the guys opens his golf bag and pulls out 2 cigars and a great big lighter.

His friend asks him "Hey, where did you get such a big lighter?"

He responds "From my magic genie, of course!"

Of course his friend doesn't believe...

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[LONG] [NSFW] Two guys are in a boat fishing

One guys pulls out a cigarette and says to the other, "Hey man, do you have a light?"
The other guy goes into his tacklebox and pulls out a 10-inch lighter and hands it to him.
As he lights his cigarette, he says "Hey that's really neat, where did you get a lighter this big?"
"Oh, I have ...

My teacher used to tell me that I'd never amount to anything.

But ten years later, guess who I saw at mcdonalds? My teacher.

I served him a bic mac with no pickles even tho he wanted extra. Who's laughing now?

Jack and Jim are busy stocking the aisles at Sams Club...

They're stacking pallets of Lipton's. They're about to put the last pallet on top when the forklift breaks down.
"Oh NO!", Jim exclaims, "How will we get this last pallet on top without killing ourselves?"
"Don't Worry", says Jack," just go pick up one of those disposable Bic's on the sh...

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a 12-inch lighter

Guy 1 asks: *"That is a big lighter you got there! Where did ya get it?"*

Guy 2 says: *"I rubbed this lamp right here, and a genie granted me a wish"*

Guy 1 goes: *"Cool, let me see it!"*

He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie. The genie tells him he can only have one wish....

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A fisherman ask another man if he has a light...

The other man pulls out a very large Bic lighter. The first man ask " Hey that's a nice lighter, where'd you get it?" The man replies ," You see that there bridge on the other side of the lake? Well if you go stand on top and scream 'Genie genie come out' a genie will come out and grant you any wish...

The Giant Cigarette Lighter

A guy walks into a bar and sits beside another guy and immediately notices he has a giant cigarette lighter.

The first guy says "Wow! That's a huge lighter! Where'd you get it?" The other guy replies, "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish."

"Cool! Can I try it?"

"Sure."...

I found a street that was made of coloured pens.

I guess you could call it a yellow Bic road.

A man walks into a bar....

A man walks into a bar and see another man sitting at the bar holding a huge lighter and walks up to him.
Man 1: "Hey man, where did you get that lighter?"
Man 2: "You see, if you rub this magic lamp a genie pops out and grants you a wish."
Man 1: "No way! Let me try." He rubs the lam...

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Two friends are out at the lake..

One of the guys pulls out this really, really long lighter. And his friend says, "Hey, that's a cool lighter. Where'd you get it?"
He says, "Oh, I've got this magic genie in a lamp. You know, rub the lamp, get a wish."
Friend goes, "Well shit, man! Don't hold out! I want a wish!"
"Okay, ...

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Two guys are fishing

Tom asks Gary for a light.

Gary pulls out a giant bic lighter.

Whoa says Tom where'd you get that lighter?

I have a genie Gary says.

What! You have a genie Tom says excited, man can I have one wish please.

Gary smiles and says you have to ask my genie and he su...

Another genie joke.

A man is walking down the beach carrying a well-oversize BiC lighter. A second man, curious, ran up to him and asked, "Mister, that is the biggest BiC lighter I've ever seen. Where did you get that?"

The first man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small glass bottle, "I found this bott...

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Rednecks at the Pearly Gates

Three rednecks in Arkansas are out drinking and four wheeling on Christmas Eve. They get drunk as a skunk, hit a tree, and all die and immediately go to heaven.

Saint Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates and tells them that unless they have something on their person that can correspond to the...

Shakespeare told us who he was all along. . .

BIC PENTAMETER. Its all over his works: I AM BIC PENTAMETER

I'm a writer

My pen name is Bic

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A man, a zoo and a horny gorilla

A small zoo in Alabama acquires a gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating. The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $50...

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John and Bill were fishing

John wants to have a cigarette. He reaches into his pocket and realizes he forgot his lighter. He turns to Bill and says, "hey man, I forgot my lighter. Do you have one?" Bill reaches into his fishing bag and pulls out a huge lighter, at least a foot long. Amazed at the size of the lighter, John sa...

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