So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"
The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."
An Irishman is drinking at a pub when God Himself appears to him
"Pat McGinty! If you don't stop your drinking, I'll make you smaller and smaller until you become a mouse!"
Shocked, Pat rushes home to think. His wife notices his duress and asks him what's wrong. Somberly, Patrick looks up and says "God just appeared to me. He told me we had to get rid of ...