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Bandana Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at the zoo...

... and comes to a silver back gorilla exhibit and he notices a sign. The sign states " Please do not tap the gorilla". He looks around and says fuck it and taps the gorilla.

The gorilla breaks out the cage violently and starts chasing the man. He realizes the bad choice that he made. He star...

I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals

My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."

Why do you spell 'bandana' with a D?

Because to do so without it is 'bananas'



I found this joke on a handwritten note is tesco.

So thank you kind joker.

A little boy sees a cowboy

A woman stops at a rural gas station so her little boy can use the bathroom. When he comes out, his mom is standing in line at the register and behind her is a cowboy!

The boy is really excited. He goes up to the man and asks, "Excuse me, mister. Are you a real cowboy?"

The cowboy sa...

What do you call when a Pirate updates their iPhone?

an iPatch.



Story:

I went to a Pirate dinner show and they were giving away bandanas and eyepatches and I thought of this joke.

Hate it, love it... I don't care :)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scottish Soldier marches into a pharmacy

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy.

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton
bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also
unfolds to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patc...

"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.

"You need a bandana, not a banana!"

I was out on the west coast, trying to sell some guns to a street gang.

The gang member handed me a bag of severed toes with tiny $'s and tiny blue bandanas tied to them. I said "What's this?! No cash?!" He said it was the latest trend "Crip Toe Currency".

After a few months I wanted to buy a stolen sports car, but had no cash. My friend worked at a morgue so he ...

A boy wishes to be Batman...

One day, a small ten year old boy was playing with his favorite Batman action figures in his attic when he found a strange lamp. Noticing how dusty it was, he decided to polish it a little. Before he knew it, out flew a magic genie.

"Greetings!" said the genie. "In exchange for freeing me, I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking down to the docks to check out his new boat.

As he approaches he sees a honest to goodness pirate ship docking nearby. He is beside himself when he sees the most stereotypical pirate hobbling off the boat.

The pirate has a red bandana, a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch. The man can't help himself, he has to talk to the guy.<...

Locked My Keys In The Car

A devout lady was feeling drowsy while driving home on a quiet highway, so she pulled over, and got out for a walk and some fresh air. When she returned to her car, she was horrified to discover that she had locked her keys inside. She searched her pockets but found nothing to help; no keys; no ph...

What do you get when a guy puts his D in the middle of a banana?

A bandana

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and Peter Fonda are hanging out towards the end of the Swinging Sixties...

*Easy Rider* has just come out, Simon and Garfunkel are about to release *Bridge Over Troubled Water*, and the three men are the epitome of counter-culture cool. They're all pretty stoned, and Paul Simon turns to Peter Fonda, and says, "Hey, Peter, you wanna see something really groovy?"

Pete...

A young potato's night out

A young bachelor potato decides he wants a night out on the town. He hops in the shower and gets nice and clean, puts on some nice cologne, shaves off all those little hairs and puts on his best jacket. He decides to head down to a local bar for a drink and see where the night goes. As he orders his...

One day a man decided to retire...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon finds himself on an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one ...

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