Neck Tie Jokes - 4 Hilarious Neck Tie Jokes

I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hooker.

It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

A man attempts to enter a pub but is stopped at the door.

The bouncer tells him he's not allowed in without a neck tie on tie night.

So the man goes back to his car in search of a tie and the closest thing he could find was a pair of jumper leads.

He decides to tie those around his neck and as he attempts to enter the pub again the bouncer sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is 12 inches and hangs in front of an asshole?

A republican's neck tie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nazi plane is shot down somewhere over a North African desert; the pilot survives.

He wanders for nearly two days. Having quickly run out of water, he is crazed with thirst when he crawls over a sand dune and sees an elderly Jewish man standing in front of a table covered in neck ties.

"Water, water..." croaks the Nazi pilot.

"I don't have any water, unfortunately," ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.