UPJOKE
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Muh Jokes

Buh, buh ,bible . . .

A man with a stutter answers an ad for "bible salesman wanted". He walks into the office and says " I wanna suh, suh, sell buh, buh, buh, bibles ! "

The office manager, holding back a laugh, replies "sure thing, just take this here box and go door-to-door until they are gone. Then come back f...

A three-legged dog walks in to a saloon and says...

"I'm lookin' for th' man who shot muh Pa."

\* - ty, /u/piercenchase.

Two Hillbillies are sitting outside the local store gossiping...

The first one says, "Welp, yesterdee muh wife got rear ended on the highway by one of them beer trucks."

The second says, "Shoot. They git 'er good?"

First one says, "Yup. Smashed in 'er backside real good."

The second one says, "What company was it?"

First one says, "Oh ...

Who’s Jon Snow’s favorite character from “Cars”?

Lightning MuhQueen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy-Bob goes out back to the outhouse and sees his brother Bubba throwing 5s, 10s, and a 20 dollar bill into the hole of the crapper...

"The hell y'all doin' that fer, Bubba!? That's there's good cash money! And yer throwin' it down the shitter!"

Bubba says, "Well, I was sittin' here a-takin' me a shit, when all a sudden, a bunch of change fell out of muh dad-blame pocket. And I'll be damned if I's gonna climb down in there f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Texas Three Kick Rule.

A lawyer from California was duck hunting between a lake, and a farm.

The Lawyer was a bad shot, and scared all the ducks into the air. One finally landed on the fence of the farm across from the lake. The lawyer took aim, and fired. The duck keeled over and fell onto the dirt on the farm's s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A retired stock broker moves to the country

He buys a large plot of land and is living by himself for a few months when he gets a knock on the door.
The man answers the door and a large country boy is standing there.

"Muh name is Bubba, I'm your neighbor with the farm across from ya"

The man is excited as he hasn't really ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boudreaux lived down by the river in deep Louisiana.

On the other side of the river lived a guy named Clarence.

Boudreaux hated Clarence and Clarence hated Boudreaux. Every day since they were small children, they'd go down to their river banks and yell at each other across the river. They never really met each other because neither one could s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Too much cock..

A man goes to a doctor claiming his speech impediment is effecting his life, no one will hire him, no females will talk to him, no one wants to be his friend because of the way he talks and something needs to be done. The doctor curiously looks into the situation.
“Turns out your penis is to...

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