What’s Darth Maul’s favourite alcoholic beverage?

*Qui-Gon* Gin

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Why did Darth Maul jack off into a piece of fruit?

Because the sith always comes in pears

There's a sale at the Maul

Everything's half off

Did you hear about Darth Maul's girlfriend?

She caught sithilis.

Did you hear about the discounts at Darth Maul?

I heard they're going to cut the sales by half

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Bear Hunting

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He Spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said: "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or I fuck you up the ass."
<...

Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...

You've seen a maul!

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On the lowest branch of a tree, there is a caterpillar looking at a bud. Hungrily, it says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this bud. But I'll wait until it has bloomed so that I can go and fill my belly !!" and then it waits patiently for the bud to bloom.

Higher on that tree, a sparrow is looking at the caterpillar and says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this caterpillar. But I'll wait until it has eaten the bud so that I can go and fill my belly!! " and then it waits patiently for the caterpillar to eat the bud.

Watching from another branch, ...

What is a grizzly bear's favorite venue?

The maul.

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Bill The Hunter

Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear says "You've got two choices. One, I maul yo...

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The Hunters

Bill and his three hunting buddies head out into the mountains to hunt some deer at a cabin they rented. They bring classic rifles not very strong but good enough to bring down a deer. One of Bill's buddies notices a bear and takes a shot at him. The bullet hits the bear but it does nothing but piss...

What do you call a Sith Missionary? [OC by my 7yr old son]

The Apostle Maul.

The Bear Hunter

One day a hunter took his trusty Winchester to the mountains to hunt for bear. He hid behind a rock that overlooked a beautiful valley and waited.

Soon a brown bear appeared by the stream which ran through the valley. The hunter aimed and fired and killed the bear dead.

Suddenly then t...

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3 stoners buy a horse

3 stoners buy a horse.

They go home with the horse and make it stay in the living room.

One of the friends pull out a bong and they all take hits until they're stoned.

While stoned they come up with an idea to have fun with the horse.

They attach a feeding muzzle onto the...

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A bear goes into a bar

he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer

bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"

Frank goes hunting in the woods by himself.

He comes across a small black bear drinking from a stream so he shoots and kills it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and sees a large black bear.

"Hey", says the bear. "You just killed my cousin. What's your name?"

"Um....Frank", the hunter says nervously.

...

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A hunter gets a new gun one day and decides to go hunting with it.

He goes out into the woods and stumbles upon a nice-sized black bear, so he takes his gun and shoots the bear dead. Then he feels a tap on his shoulder...

The man turns around and sees this huge brown bear and the bear says

"That bear you shot was my friend, so the way I see you got tw...

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A man is at the zoo...

... and comes to a silver back gorilla exhibit and he notices a sign. The sign states " Please do not tap the gorilla". He looks around and says fuck it and taps the gorilla.

The gorilla breaks out the cage violently and starts chasing the man. He realizes the bad choice that he made. He star...

What was Obi-Wan Kenobi's favorite place to hang out?

The Maul.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi hear about a bear causing trouble in the woods nearby.

The three men, friendly rivals, decide among themselves that what this bear needs to be soothed is some religion, so they declare it a contest to see who can convert it. They draw straws, and the Catholic priest is the first to try.

He heads into the woods, and comes back three hours later wi...

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A little rabbit is running happily through the forest

... when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.

The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with ...

Alaskan Bear Hunting Trip

A man saves up his money all Summer to go on an Alaskan bear hunting trip. He gets out into the wilderness and tracks through the underbrush for hours when he finally spots a little black bear. He gets that bear in his sights and BANG shoots him dead!

At just that moment he feels a tap on his...

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A long bar joke

A man walks into a bar. Orders a beer. The bartender asks him: "You look like a tough man, and we have three challenges for men like you, if you make it, you'll get free drinks til the day you die." - "Sounds interesting, what do I have to do?" -"Aight!", goes the bartender, "#1: you have to shotgun...

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