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Males Jokes

TIL that Saudi Arabia has over 130 males for every 100 females in the country

It must be awesome to be a woman in Saudi Arabia!

When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body

Then I was born

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms ...

I don't understand sigma males

It just doesn't add up

Guys who call themselves "alpha males" stand true to their name.

They have the lowest rate of penetration.

You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male

They have a higher rate of penetration...

Which 5 birthdays are a males major milestones and why?

16 because it’s the first time they can legally drive.
18 because it’s the first time they can legally be called an adult.
21 because it’s the first time they can legally drink alcohol.
35 because it’s the first time they can legally run for the office of President of the US.
36 because ...

Why are the most attractive males in the anthill also very learned?

Because they're stud-ants!

If females are XX and males are XY, then what is YYY?

Delilah.

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Frequently while mating, female mantises will bite the males' heads off. So why do male mantises still have sex with them?

Have you ever tried masturbating with spiked clampers for hands?

What do you call a group of males from Germany?

Germen

Turned the tables on my 8-year-old son.

Son: “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”

Me: “I don’t know; how many?”

Son: “Ten tickles.”

Me: “Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.”

Son: “Huh?”

Me: “Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tel...

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what is a straight males favourite bird?

boobies

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

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When all the males in the morgue freezer were found missing their penis, police immediately suspected Guy Fieri.

After all, who else would try to pull off frosted tips like that?

Do you know why they choose the letter Y for the chromosome found in males?

Because that's what all the women say when men do anything

A new law

Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at l...

My friend was upset to find out my percussion instrument liked both males and females.

I replied "mate, just let bi-gongs be bi-gongs".

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2 males kissing ain't gay

It's homiesexual

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At Oxford's men only English language competition, 200 males were participating

The challenge was to express Peacefulness, Happiness and Calmness in a single sentence.

The person who won the competition wrote....

"My wife is sleeping."







He also received standing ovation from the audience.

I asked a German doctor about the anatomical differences between males and females...

I don't think he knows, cause he answered "Vas deferens?".

What's the difference between Males and Females?

An iron.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A females orgasm lasts 14 sec longer than the males...

... but the males is 2 minutes sooner.

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